14 coaches online • Server time: 06:09
* * * Did you know? The best passer is Cherrystone Hotpack with 656 completions.
Recent Forum Topics  Smurf/Goblin/Halflin... | Chainsaw Tactics | NO Seasons! - 2016 P... |
2008-01-07 06:06:55
67 votes, rating 4.5
67 votes, rating 4.5
Re: Apothecary Ambivalence
Apothecary saves man/elf/etc from death, and does such a great job that they can go right on playing? From death's door right to the line of scrimmage? That does seem unlikely.
However, I like to look at it this way (as stated in a past team match report):
"...play of the game was SlaughterHouse Chaos Warrior Mega Hurtz showing us all what really really Hurtz - sprinting in for an assist needed to make a touchdown Blitz - only to trip up and smash one's own skull in on the soft pitch - RIP!
As Mega Hurtz lay there dying (in the dying seconds of the first half, as a matter of fact), the team apothecary was dispatched onto the field to see if anything could be done for the new Chaos Warrior. After a thorough examination of the supine warrior, it was determined that he was in fact dying only of shame, having ruined Sluggo's last ditch attempt at a touchdown following a key punt by Buck.
Having been informed that 'shame' was not an acceptable cause of death for a Mighty SlaughterHouse5000 Chaos Warrior, Mega Hurtz got back to his feet and lumbered over to the bench to get ready to miff things up second half, while the team's doctor announced he was done for the day, and headed off to have a strong drink..."
I mean, if you want to be practical about it people, blood bowl apothecaries are not modern day paramedics, with all the latest in high-tech lifesaving gear, nor are they trauma surgeons with access to the finest medical facilities...these are some "learned" chump too feeble to play the sport, who marches onto the pitch armed with herbs, some leeches, and a big needle and thread.
If they 'save' someone, it can really only be because they didn't need saving to begin with...just a splash of water in the face or a quick pep-talk.
When a player 'dies' and the apothecary is sent out to save them, just imagine they aren't really hurt, just doing a winning William Shatner impersonation, "Light...fading...so...cold...everything...going...black..."
If you roll a 2-6...the apothecary looks down, rolls his eyes, and walks back off the pitch. "He's fine."
Rolled a 1? Perhaps a deft nick with his rusted scalpel finally took care of that one player he really never got along with...
However, I like to look at it this way (as stated in a past team match report):
"...play of the game was SlaughterHouse Chaos Warrior Mega Hurtz showing us all what really really Hurtz - sprinting in for an assist needed to make a touchdown Blitz - only to trip up and smash one's own skull in on the soft pitch - RIP!
As Mega Hurtz lay there dying (in the dying seconds of the first half, as a matter of fact), the team apothecary was dispatched onto the field to see if anything could be done for the new Chaos Warrior. After a thorough examination of the supine warrior, it was determined that he was in fact dying only of shame, having ruined Sluggo's last ditch attempt at a touchdown following a key punt by Buck.
Having been informed that 'shame' was not an acceptable cause of death for a Mighty SlaughterHouse5000 Chaos Warrior, Mega Hurtz got back to his feet and lumbered over to the bench to get ready to miff things up second half, while the team's doctor announced he was done for the day, and headed off to have a strong drink..."
I mean, if you want to be practical about it people, blood bowl apothecaries are not modern day paramedics, with all the latest in high-tech lifesaving gear, nor are they trauma surgeons with access to the finest medical facilities...these are some "learned" chump too feeble to play the sport, who marches onto the pitch armed with herbs, some leeches, and a big needle and thread.
If they 'save' someone, it can really only be because they didn't need saving to begin with...just a splash of water in the face or a quick pep-talk.
When a player 'dies' and the apothecary is sent out to save them, just imagine they aren't really hurt, just doing a winning William Shatner impersonation, "Light...fading...so...cold...everything...going...black..."
If you roll a 2-6...the apothecary looks down, rolls his eyes, and walks back off the pitch. "He's fine."
Rolled a 1? Perhaps a deft nick with his rusted scalpel finally took care of that one player he really never got along with...
Comments