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2020-11-28 22:41:04
6 votes, rating 5.3
6 votes, rating 5.3
Shamoozle Kaboos: The Coat Man
Part 1 that can be found here. There we met the characters of
Centipede Joe and Squeezle.
Though Centipede Joe be a great, Blood Bowl is a team game and no team would manage a stellar 5/5/5 record without other players performing. In this article we will introduce their second highest scorer:
The Coat Man
One of the more, err, eccentric players of the team, his private life is best left unexplored. Readers are probably more familiar with The Coat Man than they realise. The grunt in the client upon a foul action is a real life recording of The Coat Man being kicked in the gonads. That's why rooted in a backdrop of pain an unmistakeable note of pleasure can be heard. The image in his bio is faked however. His true likeliness as depicted by JBarker91 was deemed inappropriate by fumbbl admins. I've tried to upload it again - huge NSFW spoiler (you don't want to be explaining this).
But enough character exposition, what is he like on the pitch? Surprisingly for an orc blitzer, he has not a single casualty to his name (including three matches against halflings)! But ok, he made a name for himself for TDs, he's probably busy ball hunting, which is what wins games after all. Let's see an example.
The whole half can be viewed at the end of this blog.
Less of a fair fight and more of the Shamoozle Kaboos kettling Undying Glory and decimating them. Arguably it was Keppy Doodar - the Kaboos' demolition man - causing 5 casualties who deserves the credit. Afterwards, Undying Glory stopped returning the mail, so the Shamoozle Kaboos tested themselves against the notorious Applesbury Banqueters. In the first half The Coat Man makes an epic rush for the line:
... Impressive... Over to the second half when the halflings, replete with iced buns, launch a furious comeback assault. We join the action as halflings fly deep into the Kaboos' half. Only Centipede Joe anticipated the move, everyone else surprised by the halflings doing what they do every game. I'll never understand why coach JBarker91 doesn't tell a few of the other players to follow CJ around!
Luckily the flings fail the recovery. Now for The Coat Man to collect the ball and keep it safe.
Err that's just him being brought down by flings before letting one escape past with the ball... Well what about all his other touchdowns?
Centipede Joe's handouts. He's just a charity case! Well there you go kids, never trust stats.
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Warning: This GIF is almost an entire half. Those with short attentions; avert your gaze.
Centipede Joe and Squeezle.
Though Centipede Joe be a great, Blood Bowl is a team game and no team would manage a stellar 5/5/5 record without other players performing. In this article we will introduce their second highest scorer:
The Coat Man
One of the more, err, eccentric players of the team, his private life is best left unexplored. Readers are probably more familiar with The Coat Man than they realise. The grunt in the client upon a foul action is a real life recording of The Coat Man being kicked in the gonads. That's why rooted in a backdrop of pain an unmistakeable note of pleasure can be heard. The image in his bio is faked however. His true likeliness as depicted by JBarker91 was deemed inappropriate by fumbbl admins. I've tried to upload it again - huge NSFW spoiler (you don't want to be explaining this).
But enough character exposition, what is he like on the pitch? Surprisingly for an orc blitzer, he has not a single casualty to his name (including three matches against halflings)! But ok, he made a name for himself for TDs, he's probably busy ball hunting, which is what wins games after all. Let's see an example.
The whole half can be viewed at the end of this blog.
Less of a fair fight and more of the Shamoozle Kaboos kettling Undying Glory and decimating them. Arguably it was Keppy Doodar - the Kaboos' demolition man - causing 5 casualties who deserves the credit. Afterwards, Undying Glory stopped returning the mail, so the Shamoozle Kaboos tested themselves against the notorious Applesbury Banqueters. In the first half The Coat Man makes an epic rush for the line:
... Impressive... Over to the second half when the halflings, replete with iced buns, launch a furious comeback assault. We join the action as halflings fly deep into the Kaboos' half. Only Centipede Joe anticipated the move, everyone else surprised by the halflings doing what they do every game. I'll never understand why coach JBarker91 doesn't tell a few of the other players to follow CJ around!
Luckily the flings fail the recovery. Now for The Coat Man to collect the ball and keep it safe.
Err that's just him being brought down by flings before letting one escape past with the ball... Well what about all his other touchdowns?
Centipede Joe's handouts. He's just a charity case! Well there you go kids, never trust stats.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning: This GIF is almost an entire half. Those with short attentions; avert your gaze.
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