So I came back to fumbbl after a six-month break where I just played the occasional fling league match – I was playing too many scheduled games and the grind of organising them around a hectic work and family schedule meant I wasn’t enjoying them. On return, I decided to try BBT as a way to get some games in, have some fun and build back my skill level to at least a passable level.

But what to play? I had already hit on the idea of playing teams I’d never tried in 1000 games of FUMBBL – and some of my internet pals had suggested we all take dwarfs or zons in our squads and have a mini-competition. I'd take Zons, Dorfs, Lizzies and Khorne, teams I'd never played once.Of course, declaring an interest in BBT and then failing to play any games is our true meta-, so it was no surprise when we all either failed to enter, failed to pick Zons and dorfs, or played some games and then got back to playing stunty somewhere.

Except I, for reasons best known to myself, kept going.

I wanted to aim for a 50% win rate as my high water mark, and actually came pretty close, had I not proved to be the worst Amazon coach in BBT history. Anyway – the rundown, from best records to worst:

Khornblower – 7-2-6 (Khorne)
This is my sort of bloodbowl – dice-led, low tv., preposterous pitch-clearings followed by being pitch-cleared, two turn scoring with no rerolls. These were my luckiest team, and actually given a different set of draws it could have been just as easily a disaster. I’ll miss them once they rise tiers; khornigors might be my favourite positional in the game. Bloodspawn lasted eight turns before it killed itself.

War on Frogs – 7-2-6 (Lizardmen)
I enjoyed lizards a lot. There was a period in the early games where it all felt like a massive dice-fest of 2dbs without block (started 1-2-2), and then a period at the end where I lost control of TV and started facing older teams that had got more honed (ended 1-0-3), but in the middle, running around at 1300TV, lots of fun was to be had, and I had my best mini-run going 2-0 five games straight.

Heroes of Canary Dwarf - 5-6-4 (Dwarf)
So I thought I’d hate Dwarfs, but against my better judgement ended up liking them quite a bit. They have that ability to stay at a low tv but develop, and most matchups will be in their favour. It took me a long while to learn my approach to dwarf defence though (I know that sounds laughable, but bear with me!). I hate to say that I might be a better coach for this experience, and worse, I might take them again. The record isn’t outstanding, but the number of draws is about drive pacing etc. so most games I felt I had at least control of.

Woolfs of Fenris – 3-3-9 (Amazon)
This was an unmitigated disaster. Faced a lot of dorfs, yes, but also played like garbage. I left FUMBBL for a while because of the dread of scheduled games; the dread of Zons being drawn in the box was worse. Everything went wrong – but mostly coaching errors and panicked clicking were to blame. I learned from this that while taking four entirely new teams sounds fun, it actually isn’t, if you’d rather not play at all than play one of your rosters!

Some reflections in general:
- I had a few games in there which were unwinnable, where I lost players early or snaked the pickup or was blitzed. Yet when you look at the really good players’ records, they must have a way of winning or tying those very games or else 11-3-1 etc. just couldn’t happen. Perhaps they mitigate the risk so the blowout never happens, or they switch strategy, or something. But that seems an important step on the journey from 7 wins to double figures.

- I became gradually aware that great coaches don't take the gap the first time they see it, and then try to stall with half their team for six turns. They take the gap when it suits them.

- By the end, I'm back comfortable with my ability; not great, but can play enough to at least make it worth the other persons' time, I think. And so I enjoy it too, even if I draw someone astounding.

- The feeling of achievement of getting through games made me play when I didn’t want to, or wasn’t fully switched on. This was a bad thing – playing tired or half-engaged isn’t ideal.

- BB2020 is good. I mean yes passing is rubbish, but its still great fun.

- Coaches I played were totally great, thanks for being part of the community. I must say I have a lot of love for the a) kindly mega-stars, who never laughed at my mistakes and pretended they were sweating when they rolled their 2+ with reroll to score the winning td, but also the b) fun triers, like myself, who activate at all times with sub-strength rosters in the knowledge those kindly mega-stars are out there.

- To my little gang of internet buddies, thank you for the last few years. I love you all, fellas. Thanks for the support in the bleak times, the failure to provide secret santas by Easter, for the Friday Rachel Black dopamine hits, for the endless bga saboteur game, and most of all, the "bants". Sweep is back in September, I hear.

- FUMBBL – Christer/Candlejack/admins – thank you. Six years of my life, and really the only computer game I ever unconditionally liked. It’s been a huge part of my life this last bit.


So ends the chat. I am oddly proud of myself – I know some people will laugh at me for being proud of 60 games, but I had never made 15 games with any ranked or box team in six years on the site, so for me it was pretty massive. Will I do it again? A qualified yes – I’d look after myself a bit better, by picking four rosters I was sure I liked playing. Indeed, I think I’ll spend the next days trying stuff out.

Gg thanks o/ (“you never take root”)