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Tenda'hart's Tender Humans
Roster [X2] Dark Elf

<br><a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=yearbook&team_id=227782>The Tender Humans Lineup</a>

<p align="justify">The Tender Humans grew out of a highly unsuccessful Mordheim raiding party, led by Hakk'on El Tenda'hart, a rather indecisive druchii who one day decided (with only minimal 'suggestion' from a neighbouring sorceress) that he desperately wanted to let his tastebuds feast on a scrumptious wrydstone sandwich and so packed up his most loyal soldiers (obviously loyal is not literal is this instance - it just means any retainer that hadn't stabbed him in the back any deeper than a handspan) and got on his ship "Heart of Gold" and headed to Mordheim.

After a couple of disatrous attempts at aquiring any loot in Mordheim, and after suffering a number of injuries (the worst being a stubbed toe when Hakk'on himself kicked a locked chest) the delicious wyrdstone sandwich prospects were looking bleak.

Then Hakk'on saw his salvation.

Some street kids were playing a game with what looked like an orc bladder filled with air. After sitting in shadows to observe the rules for a while Hakk'on decided to challenge the kids to a game, after all kids are short and slow-witted compared to his personal escort. An easy victory would mean he could claim the spoils, and Hakk'on had his heart set on the fluffy Skink toy one of the younger girl players was coddling. As both teams lined up for the first kick-off, Hakk'on noticed that the other team's biggest player didn't even reach Hakk'on's navel and a confident smile crept across his jowls...

Needless to say the druchii lost badly and now the ancient druchii family sword 'Bloodfeaster' became the new sleeping buddy of a young street girl.

Hakk'on learned two valuable lessons in the 11-0 drubbing of his team.
1) Street kids carry more concealed weapons than a Clan Eshin Assassin
2) Blood Bowl is considerably less sporting than the pit slave fights in Ghrond

However, using the knowledge that everything is A-OK as long as the ref doesn't see it, combined with a special blinding poison mixed by the party's assassin, The Hearts of Gold (as they were named at the time) romped to victory in the Mordheim regional finals and the won the grand prize of a handful of wyrdstone.

***

Hakk'on was just finishing off his lip-smackingly glowing sandwich, an envoy from the Chaos League, a slight old man with eyeglasses the thickness of a thumb, approached him and briskly said

"Having won the regional championship you are now eligible to return with us to play in the main leagues of the Empire..."

The man squinted and adjusted his glasses.

"And what race class should I enter you under again? My sight ain't what it used to be."

Hakk'on was about to answer, when his right-hand man ran up to his side and whispered something in his ear. A large group of druchii assassins were on the outskirts of town apparently looking for a 'bumbling, moron of a druchii' and although Hakk'on could think of no-one in his retinue who fitted that description he knew he had been on the bad side of the Witch King since he had freed a thousand slaves because they asked nicely. Hakk'on quickly decided that it would be best to leave town quickly before the assassins went Naggaroth-style on all the local peeps, yo.

"....EXCUSE ME SIR!"

Hakk'on thought to himself that the old man's flushed face was red like a beautiful rose.

"WHAT RACE ARE YOU ENTERING AS?"

Hakk'on looked down at the tecnically blind envoy, an amazingly audacious plan forming in his head.

"Human. Tenda'hart's Tender Humans" Hakk'on answered, and then bundled his retinue into the nearby wagon heading into the heart of the Empire as the old envoy muttered something about 'idiotic Norse jugheads.'

***

Later that night, after an anonymous tip-off, druchii assassins stormed a small cubby house on the outskirts of Mordheim and after a brief struggle managed to capture 'Hakk'on.' Although he had shrunk a little, and also somehow transgendered and transraced, the family sword 'Bloodfeaster' was proof enough for the assassins. The Witch King would search for him no more.

***

The Tender Humans were about halfway to Nuln when Hakk'on realised that he had used the last of his blindness poison in the final and that the assassin who usually mixed it had died that very morning when he cut himself shaving with the wrong knife. "Oh well" thought Hakk'on as he drifted off to sleep. "I'm sure we'll learn to play for real soon enough..."

About five minutes later the wyrdstone mutated Hakk'on body into something resembling a giant slug with wheels. It was the end of a short but brilliant playing career and the beginning of his somewhat less brilliant coaching career.</p>
<b>Games of Note</b>
<a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&id=1042190>First Blood</a><br><a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&id=1043251>'Recovery' Game</a><br><a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&id=1055051>Victory Tastes Like Chicken</a><br><a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&id=1076389>Holy Interceptin' Khemri Batman!</a>
<a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&id=1129554>Scurvy Skaven Hoodoo Busted</a><br><br>***
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Peter Wilhelm
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Block
   15 2 0 0 0 1 7/16 90k
(90)k
  
2
Banana Bill
Thrower
6 3 5 8
Pass
+AG, Sure Hands, Safe Throw
   11 14 0 1 0 3 31/51 170k
(170)k
  
3
Terri the Veinjerker
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Guard
   14 1 0 0 1 1 8/16 100k
(100)k
  
4
MC Skinflayer
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Block
   15 3 3 0 1 0 14/16 90k
(90)k
  
5
Marry Banilow
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Block
   15 3 0 1 3 0 11/16 90k
(90)k
  
6
Bruce
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Block, Dodge
   14 3 2 0 4 2 27/31 110k
(125)k
  
7
Boris
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Block, Dodge
   15 4 1 0 3 2 23/31 110k
(125)k
  
8
N'garth Fluidextrator
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Block
   14 2 0 0 0 1 7/16 90k
(90)k
  
9
The Flaymaker
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Block
 n 12 3 0 0 0 1 8/16 90k
(75)k
  
10
Phillip Notanelf
Lineman
6 3 4 8   13 1 0 0 0 0 1/6 70k
(70)k
  
11
Ensign Redshirt
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Guard
   13 1 0 0 0 1 6/16 100k
(100)k
  
12
Spittle Tenda'hart
Witch Elf
7 4 4 7
Dodge, Frenzy, Jump Up
Block, Side Step, +ST
   9 0 7 0 3 2 37/51 200k
(243)k
  
14
Brother Mattius
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block
Dodge
   1 0 2 0 0 0 6/16 120k
(138)k
  
15
Svetlana Somethingorother
Blitzer
8 3 4 8
Block
+MA, Dodge
   4 0 6 0 0 0 18/31 150k
(160)k
  
16
Rupture
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block
Tackle
   6 0 2 0 0 0 6/16 120k
(130)k
  
15 players  
Coach: hoiyes Re-Rolls (100k): 4  
Race: Dark Elf Fan Factor: 12  
Current Team Value: 0k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 70k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 2070k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:15 (7/2/6) |TD Diff:-8 (23 - 31) |Cas Diff:-7 (6/5/4 - 9/10/3)
Last Opponent: Constantinople by Night