An Australian man is seeking to join the Police force.

The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good, but there's an attitude suitability test that you have to take before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says:

"Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?"

"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

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My one day of employment ......
After landing a new job as a Sainsbury's greeter, (a good find for many retirees) I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, and unattractive woman marched into the store dragging her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Sainsbury's. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Of course they ain't f**king twins! The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
So I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone actually shagged you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Sainsbury's!"