Oi, listen up, me mates! Oggy-Boggy here, ready to set the record straight. Griff Oberwald struts around like he's the big cheese, but let me tell ya, I could drink him under the table any day of the week. A halfling's tolerance for Bugman's brew is legendary, and I've got a belly full of stout that'd put a troll to shame!

And don't get me started on a hot dog eating contest. Griff might think he's got a big appetite, but when it comes to chowing down, I'd wipe the floor with him faster than you can say "extra mustard, please!" Halflings know their way around a feast, and I've got a knack for packing away pies like there's no tomorrow.

So, Griff Oberwald, if you're listening: next time you wanna challenge the king of the kitchen, you know where to find me. Bring your appetite and your best brew, 'cause Oggy-Boggy's ready to show you how it's done, halfling style!

Come to the Gourmet Hearth for Brunch, Sundays at 9-1, no Griff's Allowed.

Oggy-Boggy, executive chef at the Gourmet Hearth and owner of the Culinaryton Hamfists.