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2010-11-12 00:51:26
59 votes, rating 5.5
59 votes, rating 5.5
Jokes You Shouldn't Make To Your New Baby's Health Visitor
My son is now 3 weeks n a few days old and the health visitor has now been twice. I'm not sure she appreciates my sense of humour at all.....
A)
Health Visitor: "Has he been opening his bowels ok?"
Me: "I think he poo'd teh other day... i'll just check his nappy to be sure"
B)
Health visitor: "and how is his feeding going?"
Me: "Oh not too bad... he still seemed hungry the other dya after his milk so i've been liquidising Big Macs and adding a bit to each bottle to help build him up"
My partner has now banned me from being there when she comes round :(
A)
Health Visitor: "Has he been opening his bowels ok?"
Me: "I think he poo'd teh other day... i'll just check his nappy to be sure"
B)
Health visitor: "and how is his feeding going?"
Me: "Oh not too bad... he still seemed hungry the other dya after his milk so i've been liquidising Big Macs and adding a bit to each bottle to help build him up"
My partner has now banned me from being there when she comes round :(
Comments
Posted by DonTomaso on 2010-11-12 01:27:53
Win!
Posted by Naru1981 on 2010-11-12 02:04:52
thats awesome.
They look down on you no matter what anyway so to do this is awesome
They look down on you no matter what anyway so to do this is awesome
Posted by Jeffro on 2010-11-12 02:09:10
Righteous.
I remember holding my baby girl upside down and swinging her up when I was visiting my grandmother in a nursing home (my little girl LOVES this and when she laughs, of course, it's infectious)... but there were some old ladies there that weer giving me the evil eye. One said "You shouldn't do that to your daughter!"
I said "Maybe if you did that to your daughter, she wouldn't have left you here."
:)
I remember holding my baby girl upside down and swinging her up when I was visiting my grandmother in a nursing home (my little girl LOVES this and when she laughs, of course, it's infectious)... but there were some old ladies there that weer giving me the evil eye. One said "You shouldn't do that to your daughter!"
I said "Maybe if you did that to your daughter, she wouldn't have left you here."
:)
Posted by Skolopender on 2010-11-12 07:40:32
<3 Paulie
Posted by Garion on 2010-11-12 09:09:07
Lol nice one, thats a great way to deal with those patronising health visitors.
Posted by Mr_Foulscumm on 2010-11-12 10:50:19
lolsir :D
Posted by fly on 2010-11-12 13:14:14
awesome, jeffro's comment as well so.
Posted by maysrill on 2010-11-12 14:13:57
Good on both you and Jeffro.
Is this "health visitor" thing a part of the UK's healthcare system, or is this some sort of Child Protective Services function? From the comments/circumstances, it's hard to make the call ;)
Is this "health visitor" thing a part of the UK's healthcare system, or is this some sort of Child Protective Services function? From the comments/circumstances, it's hard to make the call ;)
Posted by Wreckage on 2010-11-12 17:57:50
Don't worry. I took care of that dehyration problem from earlier. I put our hamsters water dispenser onto her bed.
Posted by Wreckage on 2010-11-12 18:00:42
I'd never risk that my baby gets infected in a tatoo shop. I have my own needles.
Posted by Wreckage on 2010-11-12 18:03:50
My diet plan says a glas of wine per day is healthy. I'm a bit sceptic about it but I don't want to argue with the experts when it comes to the health of my child.
Posted by Ancre on 2010-11-12 18:29:14
\o/
Posted by Macavity on 2010-11-17 04:36:56
I never get to talk to them either, if that makes you fell better.