I participated in Chili-contest today. You had to eat 4 pieces of Bratwurst (fried sausage) with chili sauce each round. The sauce got hotter each round. The snack bar that organized it claims to serve the hottest sausages with chili sauce in my city. I´ve eaten their number 4 (the hottest, it´s called Hellride) a couple of times, and even though it brings tears to my eyes (and my knees actually got weak for a couple of seconds when I tried it the first time because it burns like hell) I thought "Hey, how bad can it get?" and went there today to find out.

There were 30 participants. The winner would get all the entrance fees and another 50€ so all in all 350€. Sitting down at the table I took a look at my competitors, trying to figure out who looked like (s)he would be tough to beat. I spotted no asians, which I thought was a good sign (I like asians, but the ones I know can rival me when it comes to eating spicy stuff) but was worried about an indian guy and a couple of guys who looked like they originate from a country with a lot of oil. Surprisingly, there were only 3 women.

The rules: You were not allowed to bring anything to drink/eat to the table. You got as much bread as you liked and after round 3 you also got milk. You have 3 minutes per round to eat your 4 little pieces.

Round 1:
First round was a "warm-up", as it was just their number 2 (which is just very hot and probably as spicy as most people would ever want to eat). Noone had any problems eating them.

Round 2:
Their number 4, the hottest one they have on their menu was next. Still no worries as I´ve eaten some of them in the past. I do start to sweat a bit though and can´t suppress a few tears (they just come, I have no idea how some of the others could suppress them). To my horror, at least half of my competitors looked completely unfazed. I´d really like some milk now but have to make do with the bread. 2 people decide to get out.

Round 3:
This is were it starts to get serious, for me at least. The sauce they use now has 400.000 (four hundred thousand) Scoville Heat Units. To put this number in perspective: Tabasco has about 5.000, Hot Jalapeños can have up to 30.000 and sauces who go up to 100.000 and beyond have names like "Endorphin Rush Beyond Hot Sauce" (33k), "Dave's Total Insanity Sauce", "Raw Heat", "Pain 100%", "Holy Sh*t!", "Baboon Ass Gone Rabid", "Crazy Jerry's Brain Damage", "Pure Aron Hot Sauce" and "Snake Bite Private Reserve". Those names are going through my head as I look down at my meal. I´m in unchartered waters, but hey - how bad can it get eh?
I eat my 4 pieces as quickly as I can, so I´m almost finished by the time the signal gets transfered to my brain.
Needless to say, it´s hot as hell and it feels like my tongue is slowly dissolving. My hands are trembling slightly by the time the guy finally arrives with the milk. The milk takes the worst of the pain away but I´m starting to feel some side effects (besides sweating and the tears): It´s not that I´m feeling sick, but my stomach clearly agrees with my tongue that this stuff is maybe just a little bit too hot. I also feel like I´m having an adrenaline rush. I think 3 or 4 decide to quit at this point, but looking around I see that at least a dozen of my competitors still look like nothing happened. Clearly they must have superhuman powers but I don´t see anyone from the X-Men.

Round 4:
We´re now at 800.000 Scoville Heat Units. I look down at my 4 pieces of sausage, covered in a suspicious looking sauce. I think I can hear it sneer at me. This is the first time in my life I´m actually scared of food. Delighted I know. Disgusted too. But scared? Not when it´s dead, no.
But then again, how bad can it get?
Pretty bad, as I´m soon to find out. When I put the first piece in my mouth, there is no sensation at all. I quickly swallow it and decide to wait what will happen.
Then it hits me. It´s like nothing I´ve tasted before. An explosion, no - supernova seems to spread from my tongue and mouth to the base of my skull and down my spine. With shaking hands I grab my glass of milk and down it, stopping only to put bread in my mouth. The pain subsides a little and it´s now a merely incredibly hot sensation on my tongue, which, surprisingly, is still there. I look down at the 3 remaining pieces. Do I want to eat them? My body seems to overrule my brain and I stand up, surrendering to the sausage from hell.
As I walk over to my friends, my whole body starts trembling and I feel cold, despite the comfortable temperature. It feels quite like an adrenaline hangover and probably is. After a couple minutes and more milk I´m feeling ok again, only my stomach is giving me a little trouble. Not too serious though.

I stayed and watched the rest of the contest of course. My personal favourite - the indian guy (talked to him later, nice guy) gave up after round 6 (1.2 million SHU). It was finally decided after round 9 (2.5 million SHU). There were only two guys by then. One was a young guy, maybe 25, who didn´t even have tears in his eyes. Amazing. It was the other guy who won though, as the young guy gave up after round 9. He was probably mid-40s or early 50s, Biker. This guy was f*ing awesome. He didn´t even break sweat, nothing. No reaction whatsoever. He just sat there, ate plate after plate. Congrats and kudos to the guy. I thought I could eat insanely hot (well, I probably still can claim that) but this guy was just another league.

What else? Oh yes, there _is_ something that is worrying me a lot right now. That stuff will have to leave my body again sooner or later and actually I wish I wouldn´t have to be there when that happens....