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Match Result · League division
Match recorded on 2008-06-03 05:49:06
80k
1/0/0
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
-
1
1
-
1
8
-
1
8
58
1
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
1
1
2
-
1
13
-
7
21
23
-
“"STUNNING! I'm still dazed! Must be by our dazzling display of skill. Or is it from all the blows to the back of my head? Nevermind, I took out Psychotic Bob, so I got even. Too bad the other half dozen of us the Engine pushed off the field didn't."
---Willyam, Dark Age Outlaws Lineboy
"Ouch, what happened? My feet never fail me. But there I am, one second, getting ready to cut down a Beasty Boy, and there I am, one moment later, on the ground with a horn through my shoulder. And I wasn't the only one. Jaymez stumbled every time he had to take an extra step like some demented one-legged troll baby. Today the Chaos Engines best weapon against us was our own feet. While our best weapon was a rock thrown by one of our fans."
---Chasm Dark, Dark Age Outlaws Blitzer
"Duh, where am I? Duh, what are things at end of my legs? Duh, where is ball? Wanna eat!"
---Jaymez, Dark Age Outlaws Lineboy (still under the effect of Blinky brain slices)”
---Willyam, Dark Age Outlaws Lineboy
"Ouch, what happened? My feet never fail me. But there I am, one second, getting ready to cut down a Beasty Boy, and there I am, one moment later, on the ground with a horn through my shoulder. And I wasn't the only one. Jaymez stumbled every time he had to take an extra step like some demented one-legged troll baby. Today the Chaos Engines best weapon against us was our own feet. While our best weapon was a rock thrown by one of our fans."
---Chasm Dark, Dark Age Outlaws Blitzer
"Duh, where am I? Duh, what are things at end of my legs? Duh, where is ball? Wanna eat!"
---Jaymez, Dark Age Outlaws Lineboy (still under the effect of Blinky brain slices)”
After all, it's hardly as if the troll would notice the loss...
The match itself was a close-fought affair, with the Dark Elves attempting to outmuscle the Engine and discovering that this is akin to trying to milk a steroid injecting stud bull. They were pushed en masse to the sideline and over, with the crowd providing them with cushy pillows and refreshing beverages once they got there.
The Engine have lodged a protest with the League administration over this, arguing that the delicate little elves should take the consequences of their lack of upper body strength rather than being pampered little prima donnas about it.
Non the less, the superior speed and ball handling ability of the Outlaws enabled a touch-down to be scored. In protest, Binky sat on one of the opposition, badly hurting him as he was ground into the astrogranite by two flabby pink cheeks of justice.
The 2nd half was brutal. The Engine came out all pistons firing, and managed to drill a hole in the defense allowing The Darkness to close to within scoring distance. However, a last minute scrambling defense by the Outlaws managed to shut the play down and throw the ball long - however, this in turn was shut down by Cthulhian managing to lay tentacles on the ball carrier and bringing him down within scoring distance.
Then much hilarity ensued as the Outlaws picked up the ball, sprinted, and either maimed themselves or dropped the ball as they attempted to score another touch down. It was not to be, as the Engines defense remained rock-solid and the Elves walked away from the match mostly intact.
However, it would be fair to say that they have a new respect for the forces of Chaos after this match.”