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2016-11-26 08:08:21
2 votes, rating 5.5
2 votes, rating 5.5
Reddit Redux Season 4 Week 1: Turn 1 Concede vs Don't Stomp the Party
Good Evening Conceders
We are though our first week of the new Reddit Redux season, playing the Ogre team Don't Stomp the Party.
Lets find out who hit, got hit, and ran home crying for mommy!
-First Half-
The Ogres choose to receive, I was amazed that Ogres could do anything more then drool but at this point anything is possible. The match started off with a crunch as Journeyman Linerat Sean Goldroc got stomped by the Thick Shady leaving a rat sized impression in the pitch. Bad Luck Sean but there is always next season. After some inefectual blocks and a Snotling foul, Sweet Commode Alabama grabbed the deep kick and started up the field.
Turn 1 Concede hit back in the third turn when Backstabber Harvey suplexed snotling, Save a Heel, Ride a Snotling into thick green paste. Later on that turn Journeyman Ulric Clumbsywing "accidently" stepped on LMAFOgre's head too hard and was called out for fouling. Really Ref? How can a rat step on an Ogres head to hard? They have thick skulls. The NAF and their "safety" rules.
The blocks went back and forth with no real injuries until turn 5 when even the Gutter Runners got in on the action. Speedy Gonzolves made a tiny speed bump out of Snotling, Baby Lost Back. The little puke was drug off the field and didn't return for the game.
Next turn Backstabber Harvey was at it again and savaged another snotling Cry Cry Slide. Ripping the snotling asunder before failing a dodge away from Ogre, Pitch Can't Handle Me.
Unfortunately, T1C's defense couldn't keep the powerful Ogres from scoring as Sweet Commode Alabama muscled his way to the goal for a touchdown in the last moments of the half.
-Second Half-
It was Turn 1 Concede's time to shine, they had the speed and the brains to beat these muscle bound oafs to the curb. After some good opening blocks, the Ogres did what Ogres do best, look dumb and hit stuff. LMAFOgre charged into the fray and hit Speedy Gonzolves right out of his Ocidas spiked boots. It was a furious hit that took one of our best runners off the field.
The snotlings must have been emboldened by the charging ogre and tried to hit Wassa Balla. However their pathetic little noodle arms could barely dislodge the seasoned Runner.
By turn 11 of the game, Hand-e Off had moved the ball up the field enough to flick it into the awaiting hands of Run for it Ratman, Gutter Runner Captain.
The Ogres continued their "Punch Everything" policy. Sweet Commode Alabama whacked Hamstinger MacGee right off the pitch. He was seeing stars thats for sure. However, that wasn't enough to stop Ratman who scored in the 4th turn. The cheering must have been loud because it caused KO'ed Macgee back to his feet to lay more pain on the Ogres with his savage blitzs.
The Ogres must have been a little angry when they fumbled the pick up in the 5th turn because Sweet Commode Alabama tossed Baby Lost Back hitting Wassa Balla stunning the charging Runner. Baby Lost Back was less fortunate and had to be stretchered off the pitch.
After that strange display of what could have been tactical thinking, T1C came back and laid on a few hits of their own. Backstabber Harvey, in a fit of blood rage, threw himself at Ogre, Pitch Can't Handle Me, knocking the ogre out like a furry cannonball. This display of fury must have stunned the crowd and the ogre was rolled from the pitch.
Turn 15 was a nail biter, as Run for it Ratman dashed into the opposing endzone and attempted to scoop up the ball right from under the Ogres dumb noses. However, he slipped in a puddle of drool and the ball bounced off the pitch. It must have landed in the Ogre cheering section because the ball was tossed all the way to the half pitch mark.
The Ogres were well pissed by the turn of events and took out their anger on the first thing they saw, Hamstringer MacGee. Sweet Commode Alabama hit Hamstringer so hard his heart stopped, and was declared dead on the field. T1C apothecary Dr. Rat Stewert was not going to let this cruel fate take our blitzer so easily and preformed RPR for 15 straight minutes while his assistant replaced every single organ and bone in the shattered ratman. After a close run operation, Hamstringer got off the table ready for another round of brutalizing.
The game ended in a 1-1 tie as neither team could recover the ball.
That's it for this first game of the Reddit Redux season 4. Remember to vote for Best Dressed player in our survey coming out later this week. Winner will be mentioned in the next report as we play the Lizardmen of the Sepheron Surf Squad.
Roll on!
-Coach Nocternal
We are though our first week of the new Reddit Redux season, playing the Ogre team Don't Stomp the Party.
Lets find out who hit, got hit, and ran home crying for mommy!
-First Half-
The Ogres choose to receive, I was amazed that Ogres could do anything more then drool but at this point anything is possible. The match started off with a crunch as Journeyman Linerat Sean Goldroc got stomped by the Thick Shady leaving a rat sized impression in the pitch. Bad Luck Sean but there is always next season. After some inefectual blocks and a Snotling foul, Sweet Commode Alabama grabbed the deep kick and started up the field.
Turn 1 Concede hit back in the third turn when Backstabber Harvey suplexed snotling, Save a Heel, Ride a Snotling into thick green paste. Later on that turn Journeyman Ulric Clumbsywing "accidently" stepped on LMAFOgre's head too hard and was called out for fouling. Really Ref? How can a rat step on an Ogres head to hard? They have thick skulls. The NAF and their "safety" rules.
The blocks went back and forth with no real injuries until turn 5 when even the Gutter Runners got in on the action. Speedy Gonzolves made a tiny speed bump out of Snotling, Baby Lost Back. The little puke was drug off the field and didn't return for the game.
Next turn Backstabber Harvey was at it again and savaged another snotling Cry Cry Slide. Ripping the snotling asunder before failing a dodge away from Ogre, Pitch Can't Handle Me.
Unfortunately, T1C's defense couldn't keep the powerful Ogres from scoring as Sweet Commode Alabama muscled his way to the goal for a touchdown in the last moments of the half.
-Second Half-
It was Turn 1 Concede's time to shine, they had the speed and the brains to beat these muscle bound oafs to the curb. After some good opening blocks, the Ogres did what Ogres do best, look dumb and hit stuff. LMAFOgre charged into the fray and hit Speedy Gonzolves right out of his Ocidas spiked boots. It was a furious hit that took one of our best runners off the field.
The snotlings must have been emboldened by the charging ogre and tried to hit Wassa Balla. However their pathetic little noodle arms could barely dislodge the seasoned Runner.
By turn 11 of the game, Hand-e Off had moved the ball up the field enough to flick it into the awaiting hands of Run for it Ratman, Gutter Runner Captain.
The Ogres continued their "Punch Everything" policy. Sweet Commode Alabama whacked Hamstinger MacGee right off the pitch. He was seeing stars thats for sure. However, that wasn't enough to stop Ratman who scored in the 4th turn. The cheering must have been loud because it caused KO'ed Macgee back to his feet to lay more pain on the Ogres with his savage blitzs.
The Ogres must have been a little angry when they fumbled the pick up in the 5th turn because Sweet Commode Alabama tossed Baby Lost Back hitting Wassa Balla stunning the charging Runner. Baby Lost Back was less fortunate and had to be stretchered off the pitch.
After that strange display of what could have been tactical thinking, T1C came back and laid on a few hits of their own. Backstabber Harvey, in a fit of blood rage, threw himself at Ogre, Pitch Can't Handle Me, knocking the ogre out like a furry cannonball. This display of fury must have stunned the crowd and the ogre was rolled from the pitch.
Turn 15 was a nail biter, as Run for it Ratman dashed into the opposing endzone and attempted to scoop up the ball right from under the Ogres dumb noses. However, he slipped in a puddle of drool and the ball bounced off the pitch. It must have landed in the Ogre cheering section because the ball was tossed all the way to the half pitch mark.
The Ogres were well pissed by the turn of events and took out their anger on the first thing they saw, Hamstringer MacGee. Sweet Commode Alabama hit Hamstringer so hard his heart stopped, and was declared dead on the field. T1C apothecary Dr. Rat Stewert was not going to let this cruel fate take our blitzer so easily and preformed RPR for 15 straight minutes while his assistant replaced every single organ and bone in the shattered ratman. After a close run operation, Hamstringer got off the table ready for another round of brutalizing.
The game ended in a 1-1 tie as neither team could recover the ball.
That's it for this first game of the Reddit Redux season 4. Remember to vote for Best Dressed player in our survey coming out later this week. Winner will be mentioned in the next report as we play the Lizardmen of the Sepheron Surf Squad.
Roll on!
-Coach Nocternal
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