In a quiet cemetery on the outskirts of town the Titans gather, wearing ill fitting suits. Eight of them carry an enormous coffin which they struggle to lift. Behind them the coaches and remaining players look rather more comfortable with a more normal sized casket. Behind them much of the town walks in silence.

Once the brief service is over coach Boone is called forward to make an address.

"My friends, fellow Titans and fans everywhere. My heart is breaking over the deaths of these two young men. They didn't die nobly on the blood bowl field, or in their beds at a ripe old age, satisfied with a life full of achievements. Instead they were cruelly sucked from this world far too soon and in far too undignified a way. They have probably died in vain...

(Gasps of shock from the assembled crowd)

...the only good that can possibly come of this is if young men playing blood bowl everywhere take their deaths as what they are: and awful warning of the dangers of doping. It seems clear now that Lewis's superhuman strength was in fact superhuman: it came out of a bottle. Sadly the unlicensed world of doping products is fraught with risk as these two young men found out. It also seems that Lewis was supporting his habit by dealing to another member of the team: and he too has paid the ultimate price. While I understand what made these players do it, especially in the light of these draconian new team selection rules, I cannot condone what they did and players everywhere must learn that they can manage without these strength boosting drugs.

(Alan Derrick shifts uneasily in his chair)

The Titans must say no to drugs: we are a clean team!

(Alan looks even more shifty)

Without these two men the Titans are mere shadows of what they once were, but we will play on regardless in their memory.

Our next game will start with a minute of silence to commemorate their memory, if not the manner of their death ( no one wants to remember seeing grown men slumped on the toilet bowl, their innards leaking out of their...) But I digress

We will remember them!