KRAKA DRAK HERALD:
Oct 31.


The world can breathe a sigh of relief now, as a well-known murderer has received his well-deservèd end.

Norse athlete Lalli, known to his friends as "the murderer of Bishop Henrik" was pacified earlier this week during a sporting match, as part of an ongoing international operation.

His victim, Bishop Henrik, was found brutally murdered and violated last summer–– his body dumped in a distillery. Henrik was a philanthropist, father of seven, husband of three, and operated a Beer Kitchen serving Norsca's under-privileged.

Authorities had been pursuing Lalli for some time, but his conscription into the Blood Bowl team Wildmen of Jopotzuki made Lalli legally defined as a diplomatic entity, meaning he could not be lawfully extradited while on foreign soil.

However, while the Wildmen were playing an away-game at the home of the Smudgy Dodgies, the subterranean nature of their host-nation put them temporarily beyond the confines of international law. At this time, an undercover Norse law-enforcement agent masquerading as "Toxic Foulgrit" (actually diminutive Ulfenweren Gunter Gravrisch) was able to deal a blow of lethal force to Lalli in the final moments of the game.

"I thought he would get away from me," Gravrisch said, in a post-match interview. "I was trying to be inconspicuous about it, to not draw attention to the operation. But suddenly, there were only a couple more minutes left in the game, so I took the first opportunity I had and terminated him with a quick kick to the head."

Not realizing that this was a matter of international law, the crowd erupted in cheers when they saw Lalli's head smashed to pieces, as they assumed that this was merely part of the customary Blood Bowl antics. "I'll confess, it was a bit of a gruesome end," Gravrisch was quoted as saying later, "but he certainly deserved it, after what he did to poor Mr. Henrik. I wouldn't say I had a choice, morally speaking. Plus, you know, killing people feels real good." After some negotiations with the owners of the Smudgy Dodgies, Gravrisch has decided to stay on with the sports team as a permanent career change, as the coaches were purportedly very impressed by the execution of his execution.

None of the Mrs. Henriks could be reached for comment. A spokesman for Norsca Law Enforcement released a statement on the incident saying "Let no one lament the passing of this Lalli. His end–– while rather bluntly administered–– was far overshadowed by the heinousness of his crime. He was, unquestionably, one bad, bad man."


Authorities are still unable to locate Mr. Henrik's head.