In this penultimate chapter of the saga our intrepid hero delves into the world of social media to find solace, friends and also possibly raise a rebel army.

So, I was going online. I'm not terribly familiar with this whole electrickery computer stuff but if my dear mother can do it then well by god so can I. Besides, with the sword of righteousness by my side how could I fail. How indeed.

You'd think Facebook, that ravening and all-consuming agent of mammon (Tzeentch maybe?) would be easy to get on to but apparently "Halfabrain" won't do for a name and JJohnsonisgod is equally unacceptable as a password.

Eventually I gained access and began looking around. Did you know Bob Bifford has a FB page? Well he does. He does however also have no photos, no comments and no friends which frankly doesn't sound right for such a gregarious fellow. He also didn't reply to any of my messages. I don't think it's the real Bob Bifford. There are a multitude of groups on FB on every conceivable subject, hobby and occupation as well as plenty that you and I likely couldn't conceive of. Our great sport has its own group as well, several even, including one going by the hilarious and as it turned out extremely inaccurate name of Blood Bowl Community for Adults.

I had high hopes of this group, my imagination peopling it with serried ranks of hard bitten coaches, veterans of a 1000 blood soaked contests played out on the fields of glory. What I found was something different.

Christ, talk about bitching. You will know by now that I am not to be found among those who have greeted our forthcoming rule change with joy. In fact I may even have been rather vocal on the subject. But heavens knows even I, snivelling whiner that I am, could not hope to compete with the level of cringing, petty spite on display here. It's not even that it was especially vitriolic. There is something very enjoyable in watching a first class tantrum. One feels the need for popcorn and a bucket of fanta. This wasn't one of those. Poisonously snide yet genteel. Like a middle class snob blackballing the neighbours because they have a white van parked on the drive. It was embarrassing.

The counter arguments were more of the same. In fact they were worse as they had the extra encumbrance of actually being on the wrong side as well being the kind of snide that certain people display when they see someone else break something expensive.

Forget hard bitten coaches and fields of glory this lot couldn't even move on a group of spotty Magic the Gathering players who'd occupied their pre-booked table. Probably have to get the manager.

This wasn't at all what I was looking for. Well, perhaps partly it was as it did at least prove that as meltdowns go, mine was better one than theirs. And one other thing; what's all this nonsense about Leap! on every other comment? And is there really a need to give these utterances a 'thumbs up' and a 'laughing face'? (editorial note: The Leap meme is really f***ing stupid and if you have ever used it or thought seeing someone else use was funny then you are not only devoid of wit, humour and a brain but are probably a bad person too.)

Not everything was like this of course but then who wants to read about reasonableness and sense? Not me and not you either. Everything is awesome might be a catchy song but as a headline it won't sell as many newspapers as war, famine and pestilence. This blog is called 'Anatomy of a meltdown' after all. We want something that’ll give you tinnitus after you’ve read it.

So lets go find some. Reddit? Naw, basically facebook lite with less moaning and more information. Twitter? Really?

There are plenty social media platforms out there but if we’re being honest finding some second rate screeching over some real or imagined grievance is child’s play even for me. No, what we are looking for is real weapons grade anger in a setting that not only allows such vitriol but positively encourages it. Either that or just someplace that tolerates a high degree of sh*t posting.

Tune in next week as our brave hero dips his squeamish toe into the jungle that is 4chan. There might even be a quiz.