Two dead players, a record of 0-4-4, despite taking the lead in four straight games, a pack of disgruntled Übersreik Ültras baying for blood, an ogre resorting to disobedience to wrangle a new contract out of the club, and an inexperienced coach demonstrating tactical naivety? Not the start that the Unicorns wanted but, with 9 games left, could they turn things around?


Making Them Pay

Coach Wilson had very publicly cursed Nuffle after the matches against the Vikings and the Universe, unwisely invoking that most incalculable and fickle of deities. Yet, after all of the bad luck in these games, and the 'Catastrophe of the Crimson Cascade', the law of averages suggested that there might yet be something to be salvaged from this season.

The Wolfskins had a record of 3-3-3 before visiting the The Tin Spur, south of Übersreik. Playing against a team in the bottom four, they might have expected victory; what they didn't expect was to be so brutally beaten and mercilessly maimed.

Early tussles led to Ottmar Wirt and Arthur Dent suffering injuries along with Wolfenburg's Paxton Marn, Jonah Solton, and Quinnen Williams. Bruno Giza opened the scoring before stand-in shot-caller Logan Woodside put Christian Raver out of action. Thomas Leboucher crucially sacked Nicholas Brill, loosening the ball from his grip and tossing him into the stands. BJ Hill got in on the fun with a hit on Balazs Szabo - and that was all before half-time! Leboucher went on to take out BY Astoria, Jamie Maddox, and Raver. Rafa Brigante took out David Montgomery and Lamont Gaillard. Bruno Giza smashed into Simon Braddock. Tyler Lockett pulled one back for the guests but Giza received a hand-off from Woodside and scored what would turn out to be the winning score and his fifth of the season.

Saint Sebastian's Hospital welcomed no less than eight Wolfskins players after a brutal encounter. But it seemed as though Coach Wilson had found his new tactical play; hit the opponents hard, gain a numerical advantage, and then try and score.

Not Through The Woods

With more experience, a more settled roster, a six-game undefeated streak, and a compelling record in the conference, the Marienburg Foxes would be a serious opponent to test the Unicorns new play style against. Worse was to come as almost every Unicorns played would be required to leave the field!

Gryson's contract wrangles worsened as he disobeyed Wilson four times on the pitch, leading to urgent calls to his agent that very evening. Leboucher, Lobato, Torrosa, and Giza had all been knocked into the home dugout when Carlos Lobato was struck in the throat and died soon after. In reply, only Chandler Cox and LJ Collier suffered on the Foxes side.

=== Carlos Lobato b. Bilbali, Estalia - d. Übersreik, Reikland - 25 games, 4 MVP, 2 Casualties ===

Boomer Esiason and Rayan Khefif scored either side of the break, helped by a group of Ültras who invaded the pitch. They managed to get to the players and knock out Hill, Brigante, and Isaiah Blaide, who had earlier put out Christian Miller. It may have been a 2-0 defeat but the Unicorns might have breathed a sigh of relief to get away without further serious losses to personnel, having been so short-handed for so much of the game; six of their squad played less than a half and only five completed the full match.

Up next was the Flashfurt Universe and an opportunity to take revenge, after the Universe's incredible luck handed them a last minute win. With three players in the morgue and inexperienced replacements, the Unicorns' violent tendencies would need to pay off to get something from the game. Despite making 35% more blocks than their opponents, Nuffle's hand was not swayed and just one injury was inflicted on the Universe, compared to three for the hosts. A wholly scrappy game, punctuated by Ahmed Fidalgo and Chris Dishman both being knocked to the ground immediately before getting to their feet, picking up the ball in a tackle zone, squirming away from their opponents, and scoring. Richard Lane scored one for the Unicorns but it was another disappointing performance.

A return match against the Foxes was not what the Unicorns needed, if they wanted to turn things around. With a squad of just 12, it was a real backs-to-the-wall job. Leboucher gave the hosts some hope early on by handing Christian Miller his retirement papers - along with a eulogy. In what would be an action repeated several times this season, Logan Woodside and Richard Lane failed to pass the ball to one another and it fell into opposing gloves. The ball bounced around, slipping through Ottmar Wirt's grasp, and landing in the lap of Zachary Blaide. The dangerous Randy Savage blitzed the youngster and the ball ended up in the hands of Dre'mont Jones, who got it to Rayan Khefif, who scored his second against the Unicorns this season. It was tit-for-tat when it came to blocks with both sides reduced to single figures before Isiason scored the seal the win (which was then double-secured when Woodside and Lane failed to connect once more).

The Foxes now have eight games against the Unicorns without defeat and the jinx does not appear to be ending any time soon with Coach Wilson tipping the Marienburg side to glory in the DLE Super Bowl. At 1-4-7, the worst regular season record for the franchise had been avoided, but it's back to the drawing board for the Unicorns as any hopes of a wild card slot in the play-offs were dashed.


MVPs
G9: J. Thornhill
G10: I. Blaide
G11: R. Brigante
G12: J. Thornhill

TOUCHDOWNS
5 - B. Giza;
3 - R. Brigante
2 - S. Bunting; R. Lane
1 - T. Montfort

COMPLETIONS
8 - L. Woodside
7 - O. Wirt
1 - O. Adeniyi

CASUALTIES
7 - T. Leboucher
5 - B. Gryson
4 - J. Thornhill; R. Brigante
3 - B. Giza
2 - BJ Hill
1 - S. Bunting; C. Lobato; C. Torrosa; O. Wirt; A. Dent; I. Blaide

VICTIMS
G9: Wolfenburg Wolfskins - S. Braddock (MNG); D. Montgomery (NI); BY Astoria (NI); J. Maddox (NI); N. Brill (NI); B. Szabo (NI); P. Marn (MNG); L. Gaillard (MNG)
G10: Marienburg Foxes - C. Miller (NI)
G11: Flashfurt Universe - J. Simmons (MNG)
G12: Marienburg Foxes - B. Horvath (NI); C. Miller (RIP)

INJURIES SUFFERED
G9: A. Dent (NI)
G10: S. Bunting (-AG); C. Lobato (RIP)
G11: A. Dent (MNG); BJ Hill (NI); B. Gryson (NI)