After the excitement of his debut season in the DLE, we sat down with Coach Wilson of the Übersreik Unicorns to discuss his thoughts on the season, hopes for the next year, and controversial approach to the cult of Nuffle.

The Daily Relation met with the rookie coach in a smoky, wood-panelled back room of The Red Moon Inn, in the heart of the Teubrücke district. The booth we occupy is cosy and secluded, away from the busy ranks of plotting adventurers and tipsy patrons one can expect in such an establishment. The landlord has kindly donated two flagons of Eisbog for our enjoyment.



DAILY RELATION (DR): Coach, you've only recently joined the ranks of the DLE. What do you think you can bring to the league the other coaches cannot?

COACH WILSON (CW): Thanks for having me. Well, I will have to pull you up on that straight away. I don't propose to be able to bring any unique insight or expereince into this wonderful league. All I can offer is hard work and dedication to improving the team. If that ruffles some feathers, then so be it.

DR: You set out at the first press conference, when you were unveiled as the new Unicorns head coach that your goal was simply to improve on last season's dead-last finish. You have accomplished that so what do you think helped you achieve that?

CW: I believe I said that I wanted to do that first but there is no ceiling to my ambitions with this team. We have some absolutely world-class talent, that are the envy of other franchises. Bruno Giza, Thomas Leboucher, BJ Hill, Ottmar Wirt, to name a few. With the my direction, tactics, and playbook, they could soon hit their stride and then who knows where we might end up.

DR: Would you class your first season as a success then?

CW: Absolutely not. We accomplished what we set out to do but there is so much more to go. We lost some good men and have to work hard to replace them and players like Carlos Torrosa and Rafa Brigante are yet to perform regularly. I don't mind saying that publicly as I have said the same to them in the locker room.

DR: So you are not afraid of confrontation?

CW: I never said that.

DR: So you tell it like it is?

CW: Look, I didn't say that either. I will admit that I am honest with the players and I don't hold my tongue when something needs saying.

DR: The league can attest to that with the number of sendings off you have suffered on the sidelines...

CW: Those referees can f--... They do a tough job. I appreciate them when they get the tough calls right. As I said, I don't hold my tongue, and that might upset some people.

DR: You very openly stated that you had turned from the sacred church of Nuffle during the season. Can you explain what caused this apostasy?

CW: No, it was only mild arrhythmia. The doc said I would be fine if I got some rest...

DR: No, no, apostasy. It means to reject a religion or belief.

CW: If you saw the games against the Universe and the Cascade, you would seriously doubt the existence of a higher being, I bet. We got the absolute worst luck in those games despite the team putting in 110%. We only really balanced things out in the infirmary...

DR: Yes, on that, you appear to have embraced another deity. Can you explain your conversion?

CW: Listen, buddy, I'm all man - I have a wife you know...

DR: No, conversion of beliefs. You laid a wreath at the Khorne Monument before one match, did you not?

CW: No, no, you're mistaken. It wasn't a wreath, it was a bow of entrails torn from a wild gorepig and damned by a blood cult priestess. Totally different thing. But, yes, I did it and, in many games, it worked.

DR: More than that, I'd say. Your team inflicted the highest average casualties of 3 per game this season. Is this a tactic you can continue to use?

CW: We were hoping for more but our opponents' have gotten smart to it, in latter games. And apothecaries are not as hit-and-miss as they were when I was a player. But, yes, the plan is very much still to kill, maim, or wound as many opponents as we can before we worry too much about the scoreline.

DR: Does that mean your ambitions for the new season don't account for making the play-offs?

CW: You're putting words in my mouth again. I want the Unicorns to win the whole deity-damned thing but, to do that, we need to harden up, toughen up, and get our elbows dirty.

DR: Don't you mean 'hands'?

CW: Not if you do it properly. Look, I love to see a fair eleven versus eleven as much as the next fan, but, as a coach, I want to see eight of my guys gather round a prostrate lineman and give him sixteen of the best hobnail kisses. If the cost of conceding is too high, our opponents will have to back off before we fill their dugouts with corpses.

At that, we take a pause in this two-part interview and will bring you a discussion about Coach Wilson's playing career in next week's issue.