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2010-07-30 00:19:41
34 votes, rating 5
34 votes, rating 5
Nerd words
The scene opens up at the training ground of aspiring OBBA Premiership Champions, Real Sociedead... prior to their big game against the Dwarves of Sartosa Pirates BBC.
The Real players are lined up on the field standing to a respectful attention as a peculiar green Goblin barks orders under the watchful gaze of SeraphimRed and his assistant coach...
Assistant: So remind me again why we sacked all of last season’s trainers and replaced them with Goblins...?
Sera: Because they sucked and we have Dwarves for our first game.
Assistant: Dorfs.
Sera: ... dorfs?
Assistant: It’s what the nerds call Dwarves.
Sera: Right. So someone somewhere down the line misspelled Dwarves?
Assistant: Probably. These things have a way of gaining momentum, look at the poor guy that misspelled “Dear” and wrote “Deer”.
Sera: ...
Assistant: Hehe. What a Qaz!
Sera: Qaz?
Assistant: It’s my new word for spaz, I think it will catch on. So... why Goblins?
Sera: Expertise.
Assistant: You do know that Goblins go pop in the company of Dwarves almost as often as sheep go baaaaar in the company of Russo right?
Sera: Ah-ah! Then what do you make of THIS!?
Assistant: Freak occurrence?
Sera: Skill!
Assistant: Luck?
Sera: Coaching of the Season!
Assistant: Conspirocy?
Sera: ... ... Nerd word?
Assistant: Yeah, seriously, it’s like a sub culture here; and I keep getting drawn in. The truth is I don’t know what they’re talking about half of the time and for the remainder I cringe at the fact I do.
But the point is, given all the Goblin v Dwarf games in the Old World that end in disaster for the Goblins, this was bound to happen sooner or later... it’s like when Brother-Fu wins a game.
Sera: Brother-Fu doesn’t win games!
Assistant: Sometimes he does.... He won one last season.
Sera: Wow. Is he up for Coach of the season too then?
Assistant: Hmm... I don’t recall DukeT trying to undermine his nomination... so no, no he can’t be.
Sera: Right. My mind is made up. We’re going with Goblins. Worst case scenario we lose and have something to throw at the end of the game.
Assistant: Fael!
Sera: Shut up!
...
And when the game was over my friends, not a Goblin was tossed...
Sartosa Pirates BBC 1 - 2 Real Sociedead
The Real players are lined up on the field standing to a respectful attention as a peculiar green Goblin barks orders under the watchful gaze of SeraphimRed and his assistant coach...
Assistant: So remind me again why we sacked all of last season’s trainers and replaced them with Goblins...?
Sera: Because they sucked and we have Dwarves for our first game.
Assistant: Dorfs.
Sera: ... dorfs?
Assistant: It’s what the nerds call Dwarves.
Sera: Right. So someone somewhere down the line misspelled Dwarves?
Assistant: Probably. These things have a way of gaining momentum, look at the poor guy that misspelled “Dear” and wrote “Deer”.
Sera: ...
Assistant: Hehe. What a Qaz!
Sera: Qaz?
Assistant: It’s my new word for spaz, I think it will catch on. So... why Goblins?
Sera: Expertise.
Assistant: You do know that Goblins go pop in the company of Dwarves almost as often as sheep go baaaaar in the company of Russo right?
Sera: Ah-ah! Then what do you make of THIS!?
Assistant: Freak occurrence?
Sera: Skill!
Assistant: Luck?
Sera: Coaching of the Season!
Assistant: Conspirocy?
Sera: ... ... Nerd word?
Assistant: Yeah, seriously, it’s like a sub culture here; and I keep getting drawn in. The truth is I don’t know what they’re talking about half of the time and for the remainder I cringe at the fact I do.
But the point is, given all the Goblin v Dwarf games in the Old World that end in disaster for the Goblins, this was bound to happen sooner or later... it’s like when Brother-Fu wins a game.
Sera: Brother-Fu doesn’t win games!
Assistant: Sometimes he does.... He won one last season.
Sera: Wow. Is he up for Coach of the season too then?
Assistant: Hmm... I don’t recall DukeT trying to undermine his nomination... so no, no he can’t be.
Sera: Right. My mind is made up. We’re going with Goblins. Worst case scenario we lose and have something to throw at the end of the game.
Assistant: Fael!
Sera: Shut up!
...
And when the game was over my friends, not a Goblin was tossed...
Sartosa Pirates BBC 1 - 2 Real Sociedead
Comments
Posted by Jeffro on 2010-07-30 06:50:08
Rated a 6 for being able to compartmentalize your inner monologue to two different voices. Brilliant. Brilliant like Sybil...
;)
;)
Posted by JanMattys on 2010-07-30 08:25:39
I lol'd
Posted by DonTomaso on 2010-07-30 10:59:56
It's not spelled Dorfs or Dwarves.. the Warhammer way is Dwarfs! Weird, huh?
Rated 6 for schizo!
Rated 6 for schizo!
Posted by DukeTyrion on 2010-07-30 13:12:12
Actually, the correct term is Dwarfs.
The word Dwarves was invented and used by J R R Tolkien, who described it as a 'personal piece of bad grammar' and resisted the wishes of his editor to change it.
Although I prefer 'Dwarves' too!
The word Dwarves was invented and used by J R R Tolkien, who described it as a 'personal piece of bad grammar' and resisted the wishes of his editor to change it.
Although I prefer 'Dwarves' too!
Posted by Gromrilram on 2010-07-30 13:33:28
Pronunciation:/dw??f/
noun
(plural dwarfs or dwarves /dw??vz/)
from the oxford dictionary
noun
(plural dwarfs or dwarves /dw??vz/)
from the oxford dictionary
Posted by DukeTyrion on 2010-07-30 13:48:49
But Gromrilram, was the plural Dwarves written into the dictionary before Tolkien's writing, or after, due to it's popularity after his initial usage?
Posted by pythrr on 2010-07-30 17:04:34
after. also, Tolk was buddies with the OED guys....