Short story, scripts are up. They have been down for a month or so. Should've figured out a solution earlier.
Long story, an upgrade of the database had made my db user invalid, and I needed to create a new database user. Which was very simple once I figured out how. The problem was finding the ancients scriptures describing how a mere non-root user could create a new user with correct privileges (it's been 20 years since last time I used them, and the 4 references to the secret texts were dead links).
Edit: Oops, spoken too soon. There might be some bugs I need to hunt down.
Edit2: DB privilege issue, should be fixed now. Please send me a message if things are still broken