(To the tune of The Rolling Stones' 'Paint it Black', with apologies as usual. You should all just be glad I don't know how to play the guitar and can't sing well.)

Roll a 2
I see but one pip and I want there to be two,
No more ones on the dice, I only want a two!
I see the elves dodge by rolling their fancy threes,
I have to turn my head; why can it not be me!?

I see a line of trolls and they're all rolling fives,
My vampire rolls a one and takes a fatal dive!
I see coaches turn their heads and laugh into their hands!
I need a 2+ roll, a one is where it lands!

I had five blockers there, the halfling rolled a six,
An endzone GFI and it's another six!
Maybe soon I'll get a break and then start having fun,
It's not easy doing that when every roll's a one!

Poor wood elf, you just died; Apoth rolled less than two.
I could not foresee this thing happening to you!

If I look hard enough... but no it's still a one!
Three hundred skill points and he just died on a one!

I see but one pip and I want there to be two,
No more ones on the dice, I only want a two!
I see the elves dodge by rolling their fancy threes,
I have to turn my head; why can it not be me!?

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm-mm-mm-m-mmm

I only wanna roll a, roll a two!
Not a three, just a two!
I wanna see the one blotted out from the die!
I only wanna roll a, roll a, roll a, roll a two!
Yeah!