So back in my freshman year of college (circa 199? blah blah blah) my relatively new friends and I were walking to lunch from our dorm to the cafeteria. My buddy, Pete, jokingly hits me in the arm.

"Ow!" says me.

"That didn't hurt." Pete responds.

"Yeah it did."

"I didn't hit you that hard."

"I don't care how hard you thought you hit me. You hit me and it hurt."

"No it didn't."

"Pete." I clarify, "Your knuckle doesn't have the same nerves as the spot just above my elbow where you hit me. Hit me in the shoulder or the bicep, even, there's more meat. You hit me. It hurt. Period."

Rather than apologize, Pete says "Here... hit me back."

"What?"

"Go on... hit me back. We'll be even."

"No way Pete. You're expecting it. You'll brace yourself. I'm going to hit you back when you're not expecting it. Both you and I will have long forgot about this instance. But because of your denial of what you did and your lack of apology, I am going to hit you back when NOBODY expects it."

Silence.

"I'm sorry, Jeffro."

"Too late, Pete."

For the next two months, Pete would keep his distance. He'd occasionally ask me.. "Hey, Jeffro! You gonna hit me now?!". "Nope, Pete... cuz you're expecting it.". Months went by. We went to classes together, work study assignments, shop work, went to parties, hung out and played cards... we had both completely put the thought of revenge out of our minds. THEN!.. one night. About six of us were playing cards in the dorm common area. Pete and I were sitting next to each other on the couch. He lays his cards down and leans back all relaxed... puts his hands behind his head... completely exposing his rib cage...

So I unload a HUGE fist right into his lung.

He doubles over onto the floor gasping for air and wincing from the obvious pain.

"That didn't hurt." I say.

Pete gets up - tears in his eyes, red faced, nostrils flaring - stands in front of me while I remain sitting on the couch. He punches me in the head. I take it. Thought to myself I deserve that. He punches me in the head again... I probably deserve that too. He kicks me, but I block it with my hands since I'm sitting. I think to myself... okay we're even in my mind, but if he hits me again all bets are off. Pete is standing there, waiting for me to stand up. Our friends who we were playing cards with are COMPLETELY STUNNED and aghast... not even sure what happened. I look up to see my friends. I'm partially ashamed because I got Pete REALLY good... FACT: His ribs hurt WAY worse than my arm ever did. I look up and make eye contact with our buddy Drew (Pete's roommate)... and we both just start laughing :D

Eventually everyone is laughing... even Pete, even though he keeps insisting that I hit him WAY harder than he hit me.

"I know, Pete. I told you I'd get you back, though. I never forget."


Forgive?! Yes. Always forgive.

Forget?! Never. Don't be stupid.