One of the last things I did before I took a year long break last march was redesgin the Kingston Kruelty's logo, being jealous of the SWL league's pitches. I didin't remember seeing it in one of my games afterwards, so today, after a string of very good games, I decided to give my beloved humans a go in the box, to see how the new logo looked in action. What better way to end an 11-3-0 unbeaten streak than to play a 350+ game-old human team in the box, for a 1400 TV recovery game, no less. After 13 months of no humans, I decided I could take some pain for a game. I was mentally prepared to draw clawpomb demons and lose everyone, but I now know I was seceretly hoping to win.. "for a little taste of the glory. *Nacho Libre voice* (I loved these guys)

My 11 broken veterans drew a match against 13 blodged-up stat-freak orks weighing in at 1700 TV. Shakall is a very good coach, an his 'Orcland Hyenas' knew that in this match-up they were the fat kid and my guys were the smarties.

I took a wiz and a babe (as you do) and was lucky to win the coin toss and recieve. I don't remember everything about playing humans well, but I do remember that scoring is a royal pain in the ass if the defense is good, so when his set-up offered a 2 trun score, I bloody took it. One of my chump linemen got a nice CAS in the process, taking out one of the two Mighty Blow orks in that short drive.

Two turns into the ork drive I waste my wizard. Why do I do that?!? It must have been something like a silly 1-in-5 chance for my stupid plan to work, which it didn't, thanks to a failed GFI re-roll that mercifully happend right out of the gate. If one only keeps his wizard the WHOLE game, that WHOLE GAME is a bit more exciting, waiting for that moment that a bolt from heaven would be perfect to turn the tide. But no, I waste it.. on the first half-chance I get. On turn 6-7 I feel I put up a pretty good piece of desperate human defense, swarming the cage and chain-pushing my way into getting the ball dropped to the pitch. He recovers with Ork-Wonder, but fails a set of no-reroll GFI's that would have put him out of harm's way. The defense holds, and the 16'000 visiting fans go wild! We're in this!


Second half.. mayhem ensues. Sweltering heat leaves us at a respectable 9 vs. 9, and a BLITZ kick-off result puts the ball within my reach after a sweet kick. Just one black ork to Jugger out of the way first after a single GFI to assist. No problem, right? Wrong. GFI fail, re-roll, fail, self KO, 9 vs. 8 and ork ball. Ah-ha! These were the humans I remember!


But the misfortune was not mine alone that half. The ST4 AG4 blodge "Grimgor Ironclaw" may have gotten the ball straight away, but my humans took a shot at dropping that ball every turn for 5 truns straight. This was enabled by the fact that his reduced numbers were immediatly blanketed by my linos before a proper cage formed, and my AG4 legend, Bart 'the Destroyer' Vaderson, was able to get the assists he needed for each 1d attack, thanks to some well timed lino dodges. I had to Jugger into some pushes, but we did drop it a few times, including a sweet double-POW blitz by the ogre, BorMock 'Big Dummy' BockMa. Grimgor didn't see that one coming!


But AG4 is as AG4 does, and Mr. WondORKful recovered each time, thankfully using up all the ork re-rolls in the process. Nuffle handed out 1's and skulls severl times all around, which basically led to a messy 7 turn ork stall. All that was required was one simple 2d push by an unskilled black ork to allow the equalizer to be run in, but Nuffle decides the humans should have one final attempt at the ball, and serves up skulls. Vaderson then drops the ball with authority, sending Ironclaw into the MNG box, and recovers the throw-in to secure the ball and the victory.


Such drama. That's what I remember most about Premiership TV humans in the box. When you lost, when you were crushed, you were just plain crushed.. but every win seemed like a massive struggle. Out gunned by weaker coaches playing stronger rosters, or out played by stronger coaches playing lesser or equal rosters, or often out gunned AND outplayed by legend coaches taking runs at the CR leaderboard. That's what I remember.. but is it true?

Has the box softened at all? ARR! seems alive and well. I am plesantly surprised by the number of new-ish coaches I see after my return, and I havn't come across too many claw-pomb spammers at low/mid-low TV. I'm wondering if, by luck, or in his infinite wisdom, Christer's TV match-making alterations have led to clawpomb monsters eating away at each other in the upper TV areas.

Can I stomach humans in the box again? I've got to confess, I've been enjoying all of the options that AG4 and AG5 elves give you at all times, even when out numbered. I've got darkies in the final of my WoC qualifier and it was fun getting there. Hell, this Kingston game was most likely only interesting because of my AG4 star who was able to make plays. But I see the Sons of Brutus have several +stat stars.. why havn't they been killed? Are there less killers now? Are human stars easier to make, and do they have a longer lifespan than in 2014? If so..

"Maybe a little taste of the human glory?"

For all of the slobber-knockers still grinding it out, I salute you. Those wins do feel good.


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