Q: What do Pool Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 2,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.


Q: How can you tell a level headed Liverpool supporter?
A: He dribbles from both sides of his mouth - at the same time.


Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"



What's the difference between a Scouser and a broken clock?
Even a clock is right twice a day!