Eastern Black Mountain University — Morkite Kultist team Right in da Face are ready to teach an old dog some new tricks.
This Sunday, at 19:30 GMT (11:30 EBMU local time), RidF (11-6-9; 1720k) host the visiting Not Another
Elf Team (10-4-4; 2070k). NA[F]ET have yet to play in the new ruleset, though head coach Spubbbba is no stranger to the rules.
Said RidF winger King of Coins in his press conference following their recent victory over Batman and Robin, "We kan't wait 'til we seez dem rusty high elfz. Deez woodiez wuz a tasty snakk, but it'z time fer sumpin' meetyer."
Team captain Ace of Cups noted that his opposition had not had a chance to play under the new rules. "Dey gotz a lot uv good, mean, stringy-lookin' guyz. Back in da day, yer best elf teemz had dat kind u' kompuzishun, but nowz deyz' all grotty little Jerney-[expletive deleted]. Shame. I like goin' up aginst da tuff guyz, but da leeg now makez you pay too much. Good fer us, tho."
When asked if he had any advice for NA[F]ET's personnel department, RidF coach JackassRampant offered more than just words. "Obviously, our primary goal every week is to win the game. But if we can, we'll see about getting these old-guard Faction elves up to new team standards, get some extraneous investment off their bench, perhaps introduce them to some nice Journeymen. I recommend one of the Coldhawk brothers."
NA[F]ET coach Spubbbba could not be reached for comment. Spubbbba has played several matches in the new ruleset, though none with NA[F]ET.