Eastern Black Mountain University — A three-hour epic ended in cheers, shock, and controversy, as upstart coach JackassRampant (159.07, 84-37-50) and Morkite Kultist team Right in da Face (12-6-9, 1.72M) delivered a hard-fought knockout punch to the mighty Spubbbba (177.35, 658-221-284) and Not Another
Elf Team (10-4-5, 2.07M) in 23.5 turns of brutal positioning grind, finished on a chainpush.
Before the match, there had been speculation that the Face would bring in the Wizard Elfmincer, along with Urgoth Bolgrot; this had been bolstered by rumors of an agreement between the team and the agent for te designated referee, Horgan Dorganborg. But Dorganborg was injured the day before the match, and instead Ripper the Troll stepped in admirably, inflicting a Casualty, making at least two key Grab pushes, and substituting for injured Troll Ace of Swords in overtime.
The Face won the coin toss and opted to kick. For several turns, NA[F]ET found themselves stymied by the brutal Face defense, but eventually the newest Face Blitzer, Ten of Cups, made a pair of positioning errors that the elves were able to capitalize on for a Turn 8 score. The Orcs successfully chainpushed their way into 1TTD position using only blocks, but the kick went very deep and the pass/handoff/1d blitz/GFI/GFI was just too daunting; Ten of Cups again let his team down by failing a catch.
In the second half, the orcs received, and after a nasty scrum, they found themselves unable to advance the cage beyond the line. The nimble Knight of Rods had to use both Dodge and Side Step to score, especially after a chainpush blitz attempt failed, but score he did, and the game was to go to the wire. The elves knocked out the Ace of Swords in the final turn, but failed to generate a touchdown for the win.
The Face won the coin-toss in overtime, and opted to receive. The elves got great pressure, and even knocked the ball free once, but the sure-handed Ace of Cups got it back. The Orc cage was to hold after that, and on the final turn of Overtime, the Ten of Cups redeemed himself by chain-pushing Ten of Coins into scoring position. Two Go For It rolls and a completed 4+ Long Pass later, the Orcs won this three-hour epic.
The game was terribly long; JackassRampant is known for agonizing over simple decisions, and a frustrated Spubbbba had to take more than a little thinking time, too. The brave fans who sat through the entire epic, more [i]Lord of the Rings[/i] than [i]the Longest Yard[/i], were mostly on the side of the elves, especially when Ace of Swords opted not to push a player into the crowd in the second half.
Face coach JackassRampant was excited, but only guardedly optimistic, about the match and its outcome. "The crowd noise was great: I think my players really responded well to the unfriendly crowd. I made a couple small positioning mistakes, but I only really paid a price for a bad couple actions in the middle of the first half. Got to get better: my luck was mostly good when it counted, and I can't rely on that."
This game was not without a fair share of controversy. Before the match, NA[F]ET arrived with far more medical staff and equipment than they were allowed under the revised Blood Bowl rules, and several of their potions were deemed "performance enhancers" under the new contract.
Early in the second half, Knight of Swords speared NA[F]ET player Champions of Nature, breaking his back. Though the team Apothecary was able to save the player, the injury is still gruesome and may affect Champions of Nature's career. "If I'd had my old potions, I know I would have saved him tremendous pain," said team doctor Rabaek FC. "He will have to live with that pain for, gosh, millennia perhaps."
After the match, Coach Spubbbba gave no press conference, instead darting out on a Pegasus for an important meeting of the Silver Council. When pressed, he said only, "it's late. This may have been the longest game I've ever played."
The only player available for comment after the match was lineman Celebridades, whose twisted ankle did not permit him to get off the field before we could clobber him with a microphone. "Weird team. Not as slobbery as I thought they'd be, but still just as obnoxious. They were holding us and playing the clock all game," he said. "And then the [expletive] about the medical staff and Champions. I mean, I know it's a tough game, but it's like the league doesn't care about player safety anymore. Ugh. I need a bath in lily-water and a few sips of nectar. Maybe a good pollen powdering. Where's my nectar-boy?"
Spubbbba is out of the FUMBBL Cup tournament in the first round, a rare disappointment for him. Said coach JackassRampant, "It's sad to see a great coach like Spubbbba take a good-old-fashioned team and go nowhere. I'd rather have knocked out some boxy ClawPOMBer. But them's the breaks." Right in da Face play the winner of the match between Golgoth (Orc, 11-0-2, 1580k; coach Oazard 161.24, 127-54-123) and Let's Tour A Bit (Amazon, 49-15-22, 2190k; coach Hollaender 151.65, 1085-513-904).