Short-handed Green Dukes Steal 2-1 Victory over Drexel for Third Straight Win
Despite being reduced to 4 players for most of the second half, the
Duqueswood University Green Dukes pulled off a shocking
2-1 win over the
Drexel Draugrs to move for their third consecutive
NCBB Season 45 win. The Green Dukes got a pair of touchdowns from sophomore wardancers Dethwyntyr Whitebranch (elven military science—RETC) and Curswyn Redgrass (independent study—vengeance) to earn their third consecutive win on the season. The Drexel norse team produced an impressive 11 KO’s and casualties but could only generate one touchdown from sophomore yhetee Karen II, who made her way to the endzone late in the game while shouting a frenzy of complaints.
Karen II scores while apparently shouting at stadium staff members beyond the end zone
“That was definitely … odd,” said Green Dukes Coach Gerric Smithson. “It’s rare that you see a yhetee score. But it’s probably even rarer yet that you see a yhetee shouting, ‘I demand to speak to a manager’ the whole time she’s lumbering downfield.”
For the second straight week, the Green Dukes got off to a fast start, stealing possession of the opening kick before their opponent could secure the ball. This week, an onside short sideline pooch kick enabled sophormore wardancer Deathwyntyr Whitebranch to catch the opening kick-off among a cage of his own blockers in Draugr territory.
Rather than rush up field, Whitebranch circled back into Green Duke territory, as the enraged norsemen immediately began bashing every elf they could get their hands on. Whitebranch then cut across the field to the other sideline and penetrated deep into Drexel territory, as his blockers established a screen that made a TD look inevitable. That’s when things got chippy.
After a block from senior treeman Oakward Weatherborn broke the arm of senior norse raider lineman Æsa Kiartandóttir, removing the team’s best tackler from the game, the rest of the Drexel players gave up on guarding the endzone and pealed back toward Weatherborn near midfield. As multiple Draugr defenders surrounded the treeman, Karen II charged him growling, “This is unacceptable! Do you know who I am?”
A furry shoulder to the trunk knocked Weatherborn off his roots, and seven Drexel players began stomping on his branches. Sophomore lineman Hersteinn Fálkison delivered the boot that finally cracked through Weatherborn’s bark, knocking the treeman out of the game but not escaping the notice of the referee, who tossed Fálkison.
Karen II takes down Weatherborn, setting him up for the foul that would knock him out of the match
“Look, any time you snatch your own opening kick right out of the sky before your opponent can even touch the ball, it’s going to upset the other squad,” said Coach Smithson. “Then, when that squad is already a bunch of drunkards who happen celebrate a culture of violence so enthusiastically their highest honor is to die in battle … well, you can’t expect them to sit back and politely applaud you.”
Before scoring, Duqueswood exacted revenge for the foul on Weatherborn. Trailing the play, catcher Oberyn Windrunner kicked senior valkyrie Helga Bragidóttir in the side of the head as she lay on the pitch, knocking Drexel’s second ball hawk out of the game. The referee spotted this foul as well, and ejected Windrunner in a futile attempt to get the game under control.
“It was important to send a clear message there,” said Windrunner after the game. “If you mess with the wood, you get the … branch, or maybe I should say, if you mess with the tree, you get the … wood? Not sure of the best way to phrase it. To be clear, we’re more used to running away from a fight, so we do better with catch phrases for stuff that like. For instance, we used to just say, ‘If you mess with the tree, we just
leaf as fast as we can. But coach keeps telling us we need to get more physical, so … yeah, we need to work on a new catch phrase for that.”
As most of the Drexel team ran back from midfield following their brutal pruning efforts on Weatherborn, Whitebranch ate up much of the rest of the first half clock before scoring to put Duqueswood up 1-0. Drexel then used the little time left in the half to remove as many Green Dukes players as they could in a frenzy of yhettee claws and ulfwerener fists that left 7 elves in the KO and casualty box by the start of the second half.
Whitebranch scores to put Duqueswood up 1-0
Accordingly, the second half started with the Green Dukes in a strange position. They were receiving the kick up 1-0, poised to put the game out of reach, but the only problem was they had just four players on the field to try to do that. Naturally, they dropped back in a Dakka offense. Freshman thrower Phaedry Featherwind grabbed the ball and settled in behind only two blockers, since Ganderly Truegrass immediately stunned himself as he tripped while trying to run away from Karen on the line of scrimmage.
As the Drexel defense pressed forward, Featherwind faced a difficult choice—fall back further to eat up more clock, or cut toward the northern sideline and hope to get the edge around the Drexel defense. She made the bold choice, reaching near midfield along the sideline and handing the ball to Redgrass, so that she and sophomore catcher Gobyltyr Gusto (acorn analytics) could try to block for him in a half cage.
Drexel closed in quickly. Sophomore ulfwerener Eðna Óblauðrs blasted Featherwind with a shoulder to the ribs just after she handed the ball to Redgrass. At the same time, Karen and three norse linemen formed an impenetrable column defense just a yard ahead of the wardancer, and two more Draugrs bracketed Truegrass, as he lay on the ground nearby, leaving Redgrass with only Gusto to block for him.
“I carry the blood of vengeance and the tears of rage inside me,” said Redgrass after the game. “As the elves in that great woodland legend, ‘Treasure of the Tree-era Madre,’ put it, ‘Blockers? I don’t need no stinking blockers.”
True to his word, Redgrass spun away from Óblauðrs and blitzed straight forward. Vaulting into the air, the wardancer delivered a flying kick to one norse lineman’s face, sending him to the pitch in a splatter of blood but also using his face to propel himself a dozen feed into the air, where he executed a front flip to leap over the second lineman in the column. Landing behind the defense, Redgrass then sprinted deep into Drexel territory.
Curswin Redgrass uses one norse lineman’s face to leap another one behind him and break into the clear
The brilliant maneuver would be pointless, however, if his teammates couldn’t somehow screen off Karen and the rest of the Draugr defense. In a stunning display of agility, that’s exactly what Truegrass and Gusto did, dodging and weaving past multiple defenders to race up field ahead of Karen.
As Redgrass ran to paydirt to give the Green Dukes a commanding 2-0 lead, Karen was heard shouting at the ref. “They can’t screen me off like that!” she shouted. “I have a medical condition! This is discrimination!”
With the game nearly out of reach, Duqueswood set up their players as far as possible form the line of scrimmage, expecting Karen and her teammates to look for blood on the ensuing kick-off. But after cleanly picking up the ball, Drexel did something unexpected. Þióðhildr Hrosskells threw a long pass to Karen, who shockingly caught it at midfield, and then charged into Green Dukes territory in a blur claws, gnashing teeth, and groundless complaints.
As the clock wound down, Most of the Green Dukes simply moved out of the raging yhettee’s way, willing to let her score and take the 2-1 win without suffering any more injuries. But freshman catcher Zindari Dawnwind refused to heed Coach Smithson’s call to protect herself. Courageously, the elf maiden stood her ground, giving up at least 300 pounds and one terrible haircut in her attempt to hold Karen out of the endzone and preserve the shutout.
“I come from a proud line of elven folk who protected the forest for generations,” she explained after the game. “When the Ungar orc tribes tried to cross our treeline a century ago, we stood our ground. When the dwarf lords of Cloud Claw Peak tried to fell our trees for lumber to feed their forges, we stood our ground. I saw this as no different. And I stood my ground.”
Dawnwind was quickly and easily trampled, and Karen ran over her unconscious body to cross the goal line as the game ended.
Dawnwind shortly after she stood her ground against Karen II
The win places the Green Dukes at 3-2 on the season and vaults them into the top 15 of the NCBB rankings at 13 on the AP(ojar) ranking. As conference play opens up next week, however, Duqueswood looks to have a tough road ahead, with more than one top-10 opponent on the schedule.
