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2024

2024-02-10 18:30:23
rating 6
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2023

2023-08-21 02:50:58
9 votes, rating 6
Green Dukes Drop NCBB Season 43 Opener 2-1 to Wolfbloods

Green Dukes Drop NCBB Season 43 Opener 2-1 to Wolfbloods

The Duqueswood University Green Dukes opened The NCBB Season 43 with a hard-fought but disappointing 2-1 loss to the {J.J.C.} Wolfbloods. Despite an early touchdown from team-captain Mirlin Spinleaf ’26 (tree bark studies) and two completions from junior thrower Elehorn Oakhand ’26 (quantitative root-conomics), the Green Dukes had no defensive answer for the Wolfbloods grinding ground game which amassed 44 rushing yards and two TDs from junior Werewolf Robert 'Ninko' Ninkovich.

“With their love of nature and animals and stuff, it was a bit hard for our guys to tackle this Ninko fella,” said Dukeswood Coach Gerric Smithson. “Apparently some of them thought he was an actual wolf, so instead of bashing his muzzle in, they kept trying to pet him and offer him treats.”


Ninkovitch scores for the Wolfbloods, while several Green Dukes look on, apparently unaware that the lycanthrope was actually a participant in the game. One elf player, in fact, appears to be shaking a stick toward Ninkovitch as if to interest him in a game of fetch.

The Green Dukes opened the scoring with a dazzling, reverse flea-flicker that saw Oakhand connect with a wide open Spinleaf for the score. The play began with sophomore war dancer Angorn Windfoot ’27 (undeclared) catching the kickoff near the line of scrimmage and then streaking up the southern sideline with a cadre of three blockers. When the Wolfbloods broke through the elf-screen to surround Windfoot, he dodged away, doubled back to the line of scrimmage, and flipped the ball to Oakhand. Oakhand then hit Spinleaf, who’d been sprinting up the opposite sideline unmarked, with a perfect pass for the score.

“I think I could have leap myself over defenders and score my own TD myself,” said Windfoot, who spent some time learning the human tongue over the off-season and is now able to communicate with scribes after the game, offering rare insight into the mindset of one of the Green Dukes’ most enigmatic players. “But coach want use me as decoy. Decoy is insult. Make much angry. I is better than Spinny-leafy.”

Though it sounds like there may be a brewing controversy over Windfoot’s use in the offensive game plan, Coach Smithson was quick to dismiss those concerns. “Uh … no, no, no. Kid’s just having trouble with the language,” Smithson said during the postgame press conference. “Words like ‘angry’ and ‘better than’ are very similar to words like uh … ‘excited’ and ‘happy for.’ Trust me, Windfoot’s quite pleased with the way we’re using him on offence. I mean, he’s already stopped growling at me this season. No buckles on my boots or my belts. We’ve really turned a corner there, I think.”


Oakhand throws the touchdown pass to Spinleaf. Lost in the war dancer controversy was the fact that in one game alone Oakhand matched his completion total for all of last season, most of which he spent in the casualty box.

With the 1-0 lead, the Green Dukes took an all-out aggressive approach to defense. Pinning back their pointy-ears and charging up-field on the ensuing kickoff, they tried to disrupt the Wolfbloods’ ground attack before the necromantic horror squad could assemble a cage. The deep kick, some expert dodging, and a dazzling war dancer leap (no doubt the first of many on the season) allowed Windfoot, Spinleaf and fellow juniors Foren Longweed ’26 (mystical fauna studies) and Garon Streamsong ’26 (molecular acorn analytics) to pin Wolfblood ghoul runner Katherine Dunham deep in her own territory, screened off from her blockers.

Unfazed, Wolfblood werewolf Kelvin “Family Fest” Hayden charged back and made an excellent crack-back block, knocking Windfoot out with a solid paw to the back of the head. Still, the all-in defensive attack had disrupted the Wolfbloods’ offense enough to leave a small crack in their sideline-half-cage for the Green Duke’s to exploit. Surprising absolutely no one who’s watched the Green Dukes play before, exploiting that crack meant a war dancer leap. Vaulting over Ninkovitch, Spinleaf delivered an acrobatic flying kick to Dunham’s throat, separating the ghoul runner from the ball along the southern sideline.

Despite crowding around the ball, the Green Dukes were not able to make the critical recovery, and the Wolfbloods quickly exploited their weakened position along the sideline. After an extended scrum, Dunham was KO’d on a crowd surf by sophomore thrower Bryden Branch ’27 (quantitative root-conomics), but a total of five Green Dukes were either injured, KO’d, or surfed themselves, and Ninkovitch managed to grab the ball in his slobbering mouth and sprint up field for the score.

The only Green Duke player whose love for animals didn’t seem to prevent him from chasing Ninkovitch was sophomore treeman Oakward Weatherborn ’26 (undeclared), who told reporters through a translator, “Me want bash doggie—his kind treat me brothers like a toilet far too long.” Unfortunately, Weatherborn was too slow to catch the speedy werewolf (or even really look like he was giving chase), and the Wolfbloods tied the game just before halftime.

Duqueswood took the same aggressive kick-and-chase approach to defense in the second half with similar results. When Ninkovitch took the kickoff, the Green Dukes were able to surround him quickly in another attempt to cut off the ball carrier from his blockers. However, they made the mistake of marking Ninkovitch, while he was standing shoulder to shoulder with the Wolfbloods’ wraiths, Dr. Arthur “The Pest” Toy, and Harry “Hitch” Gerris, both highly skilled in guarding their teammates and assisting on blocks.

“I thought the spirits were but the breath of the wind and could do no more than refresh me like a summer breeze,” said Spinleaf, who spent much of the second half on the ground after Toy’s animated sheet and chains wrapped around his head and neck and choked him near to the point of death. “It appears I was wrong about that.”


Toy takes down Spinleaf with an expert wraith wrap-and-choke block.

With the wraiths’ help, Ninkovitch was able to get into the clear on the Green Dukes’ half. Despite a few desperate but ineffective blitzes, the werewolf was able to slowly prowl his way toward the end zone for the winning score.

Asked whether the Green Duke’s defensive approach of sending war dancers jumping haphazardly all over the field was the best strategy, Smithson dug in and defended his aggressive approach. “Sure I could go the traditional defensive route, set up an elf curtain or elf screen or whatever you want to call it,” he told scribes after the match. “But I got two kids out there with 80-inch verticals. And I got about nine others who tend to fall over when you breathe on ‘em. So, yeah, I think I’m gonna stick with the ‘jumping haphazardly all over the field’ thing for now.”

Next up for the Green Dukes is a road matchup with the UT Corpse Volunteers in a much-anticipated rivalry game scribes are calling the “Green Rock Grudge Match.” The undead Vols will be looking for revenge after the Green Dukes’ 4-0 win a season ago. According to UT Coach Mister Murphy, the game has been marked on the team’s calendar in elf blood.
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