Exploring the All-Too-Human Side of Blood Bowl

Episode One – The Diving Tackle

Here on the Black Fog Follies we bring you the finest in coaching mistakes, failed plays, and out-and-out bonehead maneuvers that define the great sport of blood bowl as played by humans. Ah, yes, nothing captures the existential quagmire that is the human condition more than humans playing Nuffle’s great game, where everything succeeds 100 percent of the time, half of the time, two thirds of the time.

And since the chief export of the Dukedom of Bastonne is existential ennui, what better team to focus on than the DLE’s Bastonne Black Fog? Today, we’re looking at a key mistake in their 2-1 loss to the Yremy Phoenix kicking off season 6 of the Draft League Extraordinaire (DLE). And so, without further adieu, We bring you … "The Diving Tackle."



Early in the second half, down 1-0, the Black Fog’s team captain, GM Intrépide Chevalier, has the ball near midfield. After a blocking miscue by the team’s ogre (featuring a pair of skulls, a successful loner reroll, and another pair of skulls), Chevalier finds himself quickly surrounded by four Phoenix defenders. To make matters worse, one of those defenders, Calvin Pensif, is skilled in the arts of side-stepping and diving tackles.

It looks like an impossible situation, but lo and behold! Black Fog coach, Albrecht Cadmus, comes up with a brilliant solution. He directs lineman Nathaniel Ofton to make a block, setting up a squared corner chain block for blitzer Marcel Devereaux to push Chevalier free from the defenders and make dodging away more feasible. Let’s take a look at this brilliant plan in action in the game film:



Now, astute viewers—or anyone with half a brain—might notice a key mistake in the execution of this brilliant plan. That’s right! Coach Cadmus opted not to have his team push Chevalier away from the side-stepping diving tackler Pensif. The odd strategy turned a potential easy dodge into one that our advanced analytics team estimates to be a 50-50 proposition. Chevalier, being human, of course, fails the dodge, goes to the turf, and the Phoenix quickly take advantage of the turnover to go up 2-0 on their way to victory.

To gain some insight into this mystifying strategy, we reached out to Coach Cadmus, who offered this explanation:

“Yes, pushing Chevalier away from this diving tackler would have been the prudent move, but the only way to deal with an absurd world is to live absurdly. Also … maybe this diving tackler player had so many skills I forgot about the diving tackle one, even though, yes, this was one of the main reasons I did the chain push to begin with. So, OK, was a bonehead on me, yes. But let us remember that man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is, so maybe also, this was my way to remind Chevalier that even he is but a man, and to expect success is the greatest absurdity of all.”

Well, there you have it. Heady stuff indeed. That’s all for now, folks. Until the next episode of the Black Fog Follies, ‘Stay human, and stay humble.’