Mayemi Nereid-fins Brutalize Highborn Harlequin in Violent 2-1 Victory

The Mayemi Nereid-fins seemed to take out a season’s worth of anger against the Highborn Harlequin in a 2-1 win that sent 7 of the Harlequin’s high elf players to the KO and casualty boxes. Led by blitzer and team captain Rahor Mossheart’s 2 casualties and 1 touchdown on the day, Mayemi put up 42 yards rushing and out-blocked the Harlequin 50 to 18 to win the battle of elves, which also included TDs from Mayemi blitzer Jaylyn Killyps and Harlequin catcher Ipa Guistan. The win was the team’s first of the Bonehead League season three, vaulting them into second place in the Warpstone Division after spending most of last season in the division’s basement.


Killyps scores the first of Mayemi’s two TDs after a long, heavily blocked touchdown run in the first half

“Great to see the fellas go out there and play with that kind of aggression,” said Mayemi Coach Mickon McDenial after the match. “Who knew the way to get elves riled up was to have them play against other elves? I guess everybody hates elves—even … elves.”

The Harlequin looked to have the edge early, as their high-flying passing game gave them a quick 1-0 lead in the first half. High elven thrower Adaca Bradley easily handled the opening kick and settled in behind a pocket of blockers as several high elf catchers ran deep and intermediate pass routes. Despite facing double coverage along the southern sideline, Bradley was able to hit Guistan in stride with a 6-yard strike. The agile elf gave a quick juke and then spun away from would-be Mayemi tacklers to cross the goal line less than a minute into the game.


Guistan spins away from Mayemi line-elf Aryn Brewyr before prancing into the end zone to give the Highborn Harlequin an early 1-0 lead

Following the touchdown, Bradley and Mossheart appeared to exchange words along the southern sideline, leading Mossheart to storm off in a rage that clearly impacted the Nereid-fins play in the rest of the game. Though Mossheart wouldn’t comment on the subject of the spirited debate, one of our sideline reporters, Pym Olivebranch, overheard enough to provide a summary.

“Apparently, Bradley said something about his expert passing offering a lesson to these ‘mongrels’ about what a true high-born elf squad can do on the field,” she reports. “Though the Nereid-fins hold themselves up as elven lords, it’s well known that the elven union squad is made up of a wide range of elf races, including wood elves, sea elves, and even some former cookie-baking tree elves. Mossheart, himself is descended from Florenwood Forest wood elves, didn’t take kindly to those comments, especially after Bradley walked off saying Mossheart’s ears ‘weren’t sharp enough to cut a leaf.’ ”

As a result of the dust-up, the Nereid-fins came out on the next possession with their reportedly dull ears pinned back, charging into every block they could find on their way to a long touchdown run by Killyps. Killyps broke into Harlequin territory early in the half, but then his blockers formed a screen behind him, and the Nereid-fins milked the clock, using the opportunity to bash 5 high elves off the pitch.

“I suppose it just takes us ‘mongrel’ elves a little longer to score,” said Mossheart on the touchdown drive. "Perhaps our ears just aren’t aerodynamic enough. But since it takes us so long to go from end to end, we figured why not use the extra time to punch a few high-born elves in the face?”

That approach paid off, as the second half opened with Mayemi receiving the kick and the Highborn only able to field 7 players. After catching the opening kick, Mossheart, held the ball deep in his own territory as his blockers moved up field using their numbers to coral the remaining Highborn and send as many as they could into the casualty box. With a series of roundhouse kicks, flying elbows, and throat punches, the Nereid-fins managed to take out 3 more Harlequin players before Mossheart crossed the goal line for the winning TD.

“Normally, we’re used to dodging around our opponents to score,” said Mossheart. “But I think I understand now why the orc and dwarf folk play the way they do. ’Tis much easier to score—and much more enjoyable—when all you need to do is step around your opponent’s bloodied and unconscious bodies.”

Asked if bashing elves himself offered any insight into why so many of Mayemi’s past opponents thoroughly enjoyed bashing them, the elven blitzer said simply, “no comment.”