(A bit late and without all the links. Maybe I can add them later. Big thanks to Hitonagashi, the_cursed_one and Brad for providing their assistant coaches' answers to my questions!)

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Head coach Rabe enters the Agility Monsters' locker room, accompanied by a rather nervous looking dwarf.

Head Coach Rabe: <loud> Hey guys, listen up! <claps his hands thrice> This is Gim... Gim... whatever. He's from the news. Wants to talk to some Agility Monsters about the UI.

Brumbas: <waves>

Head Coach Rabe: <puts his head back to be able look at the dwarf's face> Alright, Gim, those are the guys having a break right now. You can talk to them if they like. Nothing more I can do for you now. <hastily turns away, heading for the door>

Gim: Coach Rabe, please wait! Are you sure you ain't got time for a short-

Head Coach Rabe: <hissing aggressivly without turning around> Nooo...? Am I reapeating myself? I am repeating myself! Bad sign, Gim. Don't bother me anymore, or you can forget those interviews at all...

Gim: <backs off> Alright, alright! No need to get angry! It would just enrich...

Head Coach Rabe: <leaves and slams the door>

Groin: <relaxed> Don't bother, young fella. His just excited because of the UI being drawn within these hours. He always is before a major kicks of that we're in. Well, at least hopefully. Plus, he's a gnome - always a bit over the edge.

Gim: <affectedly> Haha! That's funny... Haha. Ahem. So... you're Groin, right?

Groin: That would be me, yes.

Gim: Could you fill me in on the rest? I'm not too familiar with many of the newer faces yet..

Groin: Well, those are Thok, slayer, Grimbald, blocker, Timothy, offense trainer, Brumbas, blocker, Alion, defense coordinator and Kurt, mobility trainer.

Timothy salutes ironically, Brumbas waves and Alion nods.

Gim: <smiles nervously, then turns to Groin again> Where's everyone else?

Groin: Most of the players are currently having defense training with Danny, if I remember correctly... Tight training schedule these days. <shrugs>

Gim: <glances around quickly> May... may I start with you?

Groin: Go ahead! Just ask. It's free. <winks>

Gim: Groin, you're the talent scout of the Agility Monsters and you've been actively playing for the Monsters more than fourty games... how does the team look like to you today?

Groin: Well, it's been going through major changes. We've lost hell of a lot of decent players over the past months, most of them dead. <sighs> We currently have eight players on the team with less than twenty matches under their belt...

Gim: So, the Monsters look rather young - except for the longbeards, haha haha...

Groin: <raises one eyebrow> We indeed only have five players left with tournament experience. Aegil, Rhoda, Ziruin, Grimbald and - of course - Brumbas.

Brumbas: <waves again> That would be meee! <starts ambling over>

Gim: So, how much potential does the team have when it comes to-

Brumbas: <scrutinizes Gim and interrupts> Don't I know you...?

Gim: Probably. I've been on the team once... <coughs slightly> ...a long time ago. And not very long. <strokes over his bald head> I had hair back then...

Groin: <snaps> Deepwalker! Gim Deepwalker, that's it!

Brumbas: Aaaah, riiight! And you had one of those pointless nicknames...

Gim: <sore, in a high-pitched voice> It wasn't "pointless"! I was "Three Knives" and those knives were rather pointy!

Brumbas: <slaps his thighs> Hoho, right! The three knives!

Groin: <smiles> Actually I liked you juggling with them. Was good entertainment.

Gim: I wasn't "juggling"! I was throwing them! And I still do! <suddenly excited> Watch out!

Gim pulls three small throwing knives from under his cloak. With a swift and rather elegant action he whirls them towards Brumbas.

Brumbas: <dodges the one knife the would have hit his forhead, Blood spills>

Gim: Oops.

Grimbald: <jumps up, his axe raised> Assassin! <shouts> Get him!

Gim: <backs away, panicked>

Brumbas: Eaaasy, Grim! It's just an old friends' banter! <laughs> I better see the backbreaker! Gotta stitch together what's left of my ear...

Gim: <puzzled, still staring at Grimbald's axe> The... the backbreaker?

Groin: Our new doc. Well, not that new. Got hired after the incedent with Namosz's death came out... Anyway, I'm gonna accompany. <puts his wheelchair into motion>

Brumbas: <looking back over his shoulder, holding his right ear with one hand> Maybe you should return to the pitch, Gim! We got some decent throwing and agility trainers around! Harrharr!

Gim: <quickly collects his knives, the looks around> Well... who's next then? No further knives, I promise!

Silence.

Grimbald: <disgusted> Bah!

Timothy: <bounces down from the table he has been sitting on> I'll do!

Gim: <relieved> Very well... thank you... thanks! <clears his throat>

Timothy: No problem.

Gim: Ahem... well... Timothy. <draws breath> You're the Monsters' offense trainer, working on the individual players' punch. During your active days you've been known as a real freak on offense and recklessly to the upmost. The Monsters are not exactly known for their patient, deliberate attacks on the pitch. Do you feel... comfortable as an elf among such dwarves?

Timothy: <smirks> Gim, I must admit I chose to do my scouting at the Warpstone final from across on the Elvish side of the stadium, but honestly some of those elves in the stands looked like they’d never put on a helmet, let alone set foot on that field. Hats off to Azure’s boys, but I think the target on their heads is too big now, even for them - The Monsters though are really in full training mode right now – have rocketed up from our apparent low standings into contention for one of the UI spots, and as for me being comfortable – I’m trying to grow a beard and take 3 feet off so I can join them out there on the field. <laughs>
In all seriousness, Dalandis and I spend a lot of time together trying to figure out how we can train the boys to pull of his crazy schemes – and rumour has it something sharp and concealable is waiting for anyone that gets shoved off the pitch in his direction come UI time, but working with the dwarves keeps us all on our toes and that’s where a blood bowl player always feels at home.

Gim: <more confident now> The past has shown that your mentees are capable of some quite astonishing actions, especially in desperate times. Any new tricks we can expect in the UI matches?

Timothy: <smiles> Gim, I obviously can’t give too much away, but working with Zak and Thok has been giving me quite a few ideas to add to the Dwarves’ playbook. I used to block two at once, but these guys just keep throwing block after block at the same target – Has given me some good positioning ideas, and as I said Dalandis normally has something at hand for anyone too close to the sidelines. I think they’ve been working with Brumbas on some sort of “Where did that gap come from!?” play.
I must really give credit to Rhoda as well, still trying to get that agility boost, but she has skilled up exceptionally when it comes to getting to and protecting that ball. I don’t want to give away any tricks up her sleeves, but I may have slipped some gold coins to our Apothecary just to make sure his skills aren’t wasted elsewhere when the crunch comes.

Gim: Too keep it short and a bit individual as well: What do you personally expect regarding your new teams' participation in the UI?

Timothy: <contemplates for a few seconds> I think our greatest chance in the UI is going to be those light qualifiers. Half those teams just rely on dodging away – they rely on slower races not picking up and protecting the ball. When they see the dwarves come out we’ve seen many teams forget that this ain’t quite your average dwarf team. If those boys can get those lightweights tied down and make some room for Zak, Thok, Aegil and Rhonda – I think there is going to be some serious ball out there, and when it comes to scrapping for the pig skin, you don’t want to get down and scrap with the dwarves. Whoever we face from the ‘dark’ side should be so beat up we’ll be in for a real shot.

Gim: Defintely! Thanks for your time, Timmy!

Timothy: You're welcome. And hey, if you want to get more into the strategy talk, you should probably talk to Alion. <points at the high elf>

Gim: Ah... why not? If he's willing...

Alion: <nods stoically> Of course. Press is always welcome.

Gim: Alion, you have seen a lot of elfball, on the pitch as well as from the coaching bench. The Monsters try to merge classical elfball tactics with dwarven. How do they perform on defense right now? Are they in shape for the challenge the UI poses?

Alion: Well Gim, I'll be frank, I've seen them in better shape. The crippling hit on Aegil especially is a big blow for our team, he was a critical part of the way we move that ball around the field. However, these dwarves are made of some stern stuff for sure. I wouldn't want to be playing against them, that's for sure!

Gim: Will we see some new, sneaky tactics? No details of course, we don't want to spoil the surprise!

Alion: You know I can't answer that question, Gim. Never know who is listening in! I would also like to firmly deny those unfounded rumours that I've been having lunch with the fine gentleman Mr Churnblade, total tosh.

Gim: Some say head coach Rabe listens especially to your opinion and advice. He seems to be optimistic with regard to the Monsters' success in the UI, at least that's what I've been told before our encounter today... Do you share his point of view? What are your personal expectations?

Alion: I've been training with these dwarves every day, and I can tell you this. We may not be the most agile. We may not be the most skilled. We may not even be the most well armoured...but I'll tell you this, by Asuryan's balls, we have the hunger to win! I want to see the lads and lasses getting those crunching tackles in, and if a fully armoured dwarf smashes into your kneecaps, that's got to hurt.
My expectations are the same as they always are. We are in it to win it, and I'm not going to hear any of this self defeating talk of failure. It'll be tough, but we are Agility Monsters! We defy the odds!

Gim: Well, that's definitely some pep talk, Alion! Thanks!

Alion: <nods gently>

Gim: Ok, time for one last interview. Since there are almost no players around... <shuns to look into Gimbalds direction> ...I'll just stick with the staff, that's something special as well. <looks around> Kurt, what about you?

Kurt: <keeps sitting in his chair> Me? Why not, I guess. <shrugs>

Gim: Cool!

Gim changes pages of his notepad while slowly moving over to Kurt.

Gim: So, Kurt: You're 'the new one' on the staff, the Agility Monsters' mobility trainer. Have you already had the chance to exercise with the Monsters? How do you get along?

Kurt: Well, coming from a small mining town I grew up with contact with dwarves more so than other human players do. Their warm ups are fine, they just need to use some of that dwarven determination I see in training and know runs through their blood on the pitch.

Gim: And what's their condition like? Will they be able to keep up with all the elves and humans in the Ulthuan Invitational?

Kurt: Just need to spend a bit more time running in practise than they do drinking, so im working on a beer related incentive, as these guys and gals seem to care less about gold than they do about trying to prove that they can ball with the best.

Gim: Your other team, the Dangerzone Dudes, play in the Box. Some say it's more about killing and maiming the opposition than anything else. How come you now work with dwarves in Ranked that try to play elfball?

Kurt: Well, the box division is brutal, I'll give you that, where all manner of foul mutated beastmen and the evil dwarves try and rule supreme and while my fellow blitzers and linos try and hit them back, it's my job to actually win the game. It's all right killing players, but you need to win to make it in the big leagues.

Gim: Rumors say you're a big AM fan and work for free in your spare time. So, what are your expectations concerning the UI, as a fan and as a staff member?

Kurt: I expect nothing but the best from these fearless fighters. They can bash with the best as they are stury dwarves and with the combined coaching staff we are getting them to a state where they can ball with some of the better teams. And I'll always be rooting for them. DWARVES FOR VICTORY!

Gim: Cheers! Thanks for your time, Kurt! And good luck in the Box!

Kurt makes a slacky gesture of approval.

Gim: <raises his voice and looks around> Well, I whish I could stay longer, but we're running out of time! The draw should have been made by now, so there's more ground I've got to cover. I wish you and the rest of the Monsters good luck in the UI! <rushes out of the room>

Grimbald: Idiot. Did he even mention which newspaper he's working for?

Alion: <shrugs>

Grimbald: That's what I thought...