Inspired by a forum thread and two blog entries, here's how the Rule of Five applies to the Monsters. And who would have guessed? It works!*

Alright, here are the five Agility Monsters that have to be protected at all costs (or at least at the costs of the rest of the team):

1. Brumbas Soildigger: Because he's the last original team member from January 2010, the oldest longbeard/blocker ever, the elfiest Agility Monster skill-wise and only 6 SPP away from turning into an SPP-legend - after over 220 games.

2. Nogli "The Sage" Jasper-Eye: Because he's the most elfy player the Monsters ever had.

3. Rhoda, Twin Sister of Dhuna "Runaway" Mithrilheart: Because her sister died too early, she's multiple top list record holder, the Monsters' scoring machine and because it's a miracle a runner without major stat increases and Dodge can survive over 180 games.

4. Baruk "Pass-Blocker" Faithchanger: Because he's a fricking leaping, blodging, pass-blocking dwarf blitzer.

5. Groin, Brother of Garumbar "The Fallen" Lighthammer: Because deathrollers are so rare, because he has the potential to live forever and because everyone tells the team to fire him to reduce "bloat".

And then there's the rest of the current lineup, the "expendables" (eagerly waiting for their entry ticket to the "Five"):

6. Rila "Apocalypse" Bullrush: First and only designated ball-carrying slayer the Monsters ever had. Before she got her neck broken, she excelled at her job and became the first troll slayer to score the magical 10 touchdowns - and didn't stop there. She'd possibly still be one of the Five, if it wasn't for her injury.

7. Harad "Reckless" Woodchopper: Slowest Agility Monster ever and a source of constant amusement and delight. In his first MA 2 game he promptly managed his first interception. He knows how to compensate his disadvantages! If "The Five" had room for one more player, it might be him.

8. Xovor "Fanatic" Leadfist: Solid blocker with the mandatory Kick skill that the Monsters lacked for so long. 65 games (and counting) prove that kickers don't necessarily die young.

9. Dwengin Clogcarver: Another reliable player with the two basic skills of a Monsters blocker - Guard and Fend.

10. Eck "Headmaster" Hammerthrow: A young troll slayer who just turned Pro. Expendable, despite his lovely background story.

11. Merro Clawcutter: Total crap? Well, ST 2 is sometimes not as bad as it seems, with all his other skills. More importantly, he helps keeping the squad at more than 11 men.

12. Joki "The Sophisticated" Coldfist: Somewhat like Merro, only worse. His speed boost made him special, even with ST 2 - until he lost it. As 12th man he helps to keep Groin off the pitch when needed.


I might consider the Rule of Five as a guideline for apo usage. You can indeed only protect so many players...


* Sort of. If you believe that the number five can applied on anything in life.