Ahoy-hoy.

On this day of celebration, I am reminded why we all play the game. One of the reasons is fluff, isn't it? We're all a bit embarrassed about playing a 'sport' with 'fantasy races' (explain it to a girl. Then use the name of the game. Zero action assured), but as nerds, we know it's cool.

One of the best things about the fluff is the in game scenarios the rules give us. Like the scenario I like to imagine when I hire poor old Zzharg Madeye.

'Coach!'

'Good afternoon Zzharg, are you well?'

'Super, thank you. I've spent all week training intensely. This looks to be a big game, thanks for calling me up!'

'Not at all. I think we'd really benefit from your unique skill set out there today. We've won the toss, so get out there and show me what you can do!'

'Excellent! Where do you want me?'

'Middle of the LOS, please.'

'Middle of the LOS? Why on Earth do you want me there? I'm not going to be able to get to the ball there.'

'I know. You won't be getting the ball, Zzharg.'

'Eh? There must be some mistake. Look, here, this is my Blunderbuss. What we do is, we cram the ball in there, fire it down the field, and we're away!'

'I'm aware of the Blunderbuss. That is a terrible strategy, and we won't be doing that.'

'What, no pumping the ball down the field?'

'No.'

'I'm not getting the ball at all?'

'Absolutely not.'

'Look. I'm not calling you rubbish or anything, but here I am with my BLUNDERBUSS, I've a Strong Arm, I can Pass, I've been working on the razzle dazzle all my life. And you want me for LOS duty? Have you hired the right man?'

'Absolutely. You see, you're strong, you can take a hit, and if anything dies, I'd rather it be you. Frankly, I'd rather you left the Blunderbuss at home.'

'Old Bessie? The crowd only comes to see her! Listen, this is ridiculous. Do you know how much you've wasted with your terrible gameplan? Ninety thousand gold pieces. Ninety thousand. I am so enormously expensive, and you're throwing my talent away.'

'Actually, there are very few Inducements available cheaper than you. Infact; you represent excellent value as fodder for a half. That Goblin idiot over there with the Chainsaw? He's 130k.'

'What?! NOBBLA?! 130k? You can't be serious. You'll be telling me old man Morg is 200k next.'

'Actually... Never mind. Look, just get out there and play. Well, stand and get hit. Under no circumstances get the ball, and if for some reason it comes your way, keep Old Bessie out of it.'

'I need a new agent....' As Madeye turns to face his opposite number, BAM, 10, 10, dead. Old Bessie is crushed beneath the scrummage of the LOS.

Any more silly fluff fun to be had with stars or on-field situations? There must be loads... I'm just tickled by poor old Zzharg wanting to use his trusty Blunderbuss and none of us ever letting him. :)