The Great Gobbo is sat in a booth in his favourite dingy tavern, looking miserable and nursing his eighth pint of grog. A huge figure wearing too much gold jewellery and not enough deodorant slides into the booth opposite the Great Gobbo.

Honest Jon: "Alrite there Gobbo mate, you look a bit down"
Great Gobbo: "Zog off Jon I dunt wantz ter talk ter yer"
HJ: "Ah, don't be like that my little green mate! Anyway what happened to your head?"
GG: "Wot bout me ead?"
HJ: "Well there's a big red line round the middle of your face"
GG: "Itz nuffin rite, jus a likkle joke between me an der ladz...hur hur hur"
HJ: "I heard you had a bucket stuck on your head for the last couple of days"
GG: "WHO TOLE YEW DAT?!! DAT IZ A LOAD O KOBBLERZ!"
HJ: "You know how it is, I hears things"
GG: "Well it ent true..... it woz only six hourz"
HJ: "Is that why you look so miserable?"
GG: "No itz dat bluddy squirrel. Evry trainin sesschun it niks me only ball an den putz it bak at nite so ee kan do it agen der next day"
HJ: "Well you know there's only one way to get rid of a squirrel, cost you a nights sleep mind"
GG: "Anyfin!"
HJ: "What you've got to do is you've got to stay up all night in your training swamp, and when its nice and quiet and Mr Squirrel comes creeping in get your blunderbuss and BOOM! Never fails"
GG: "Nevva failz?"
HJ: "Never fails"
GG: "Rite, where can I get a blunderbuss frum?"
HJ: "You can borrow mine for five gold coins"
GG: "Yeh yeh ok ok"

It's 3AM and we find the Great Gobbo and Dr Eadcase sat on a couple of deck chairs in the middle of the training pitch, sharing a bottle of moonshine in the nights quiet. Suddenly there is a rustling in the bushes, and out pops the squirrel with the Green Tides ball. The Great Gobbo slowly puts down the moonshine, and picks up the blunderbuss.
Doc Eadcase: "Ere boss, yew evva fired wun o dem before?"
BOOM!
The Great Gobbo flies ten feet off his chair and shoots all of the apples out of a nearby tree.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
GG: "DIE YEW LIKKLE BARSKET!!!"

The night goes quiet and the thick blue smoke slowly starts to disappear to reveal a couple of holes in the pitch and a flat ball with more holes in it than a colander.

GG: "ITZ NOT FAIR!!! All I wantz iz ter run a blud bowl teem, y iz everyfin so bluddy ard?"
DrE: "Cheer u boss an av sum moar o dis grog. We'll jus getz der ladz ter pretend dey av a ball, an fink of der benefits, no wun will drop a pazz agen!"
GG: "SIGH......"