We have been asked to come round to the Great Gobbo's cave. The whole world seems to have been covered with a dusting of icing sugar as our feet crunch over the heavily frosted ground and the air is cold and sharp but somehow clean and refreshing. We knock on the board currently standing in for a door.

The Great Gobbo: "Ello mate, ow yer doin? Kum in outta dat kold"
KO! Magazine: "Thank you, it is a bit nippy out there. Ooh have you got a new carpet?"
GG: "Yeh, gud innit"
KO: "I've never seen a pattern like that before, kind of grey then orange then white.................It's those dead cats isn't it?"
GG: "Kourse, waste not want not, but dats not y I az asked yew round ere. I needz yer elp wiv me New Years Eve party planz"
KO: "What do you need?"
GG: "I needz yer ter gizza list of everyfin yew need fer a grate party"
KO: "OK first of all you need some drinks, some of which could be alcoholic?"
GG: "Way ahed o yer mush, in ere"

We follow the Great Gobbo into his kitchen. In the middle of the floor is a giant cauldron which is giving of vapours which burn our eyes and throat. Nigel is perched on a stool with a metal pipe in her mouth stirring this foul smelling concoction seemingly oblivious to it's potency.

KO: "What in the name of Sigmar is that?!"
GG: "Speshul Gobbo punch made frum a secret recepee anded down frum gernerashun ter generashun. We kallz it Domestos"
KO: "It burns!"
GG: "It iz a bit cheeky I agree"
KO: "Do you have any non alcoholic drinks?"

Both Nigel and the Great Gobbo stare at us in silent disbelief

KO: "OK, silly question I know. Do you have any party food?"
GG: "Yep, got dis kovvered too. Over dere on der side, a party klassik"
KO: "It looks like a porcupine with a block of cheese wedged on its spines"
GG: "Ad it before az yer?"
KO: "Something similar yes. Out of interest who is coming to this party of yours?"
GG: "Well it will be me, Nige, Doc Eadcase an der rest o der ladz an yew. Honest Jon sed ee mite pop rownd an Russel will be ere early but iz mom's pikkin im up at ten"
KO: "Why not invite some of your fellow Blood Bowl coaches round as well?"
GG: "Like oo?"
KO: "Erm, how about Kam or Zed? They seem quite nice"
GG: "No chance, I only az wun porky pine an dey wud eet der lot den sit der moanin koz der ent nuffin ter eet. Fat barsterdz"
KO: "Ok what about Christer or Kalimar?"
GG: "Nope tew geeky. No gurlz iz gunna show up if der place is full o nerdz arguing about which iz betta apples or windowz"
KO: "Garion?"
GG: "Der 2014 Fumbbler o der year?"
KO: "Yeah he's a nice bloke"
GG: "Der 2014 Fumbbler o der yer oo robbed me o dat title Garion?........"
KO: "Maybe not him then. Painstate?"
GG: "Nah, ee still ent fergiven me fer dat whole robbin iz kasino incident"
KO: "akaRenton? The coach you just beat?"
GG: "I ent avvin somewun at me party oo goews up ter a finga buffet an komez away wiv less den ee started wiv!"
KO: "Emeyin?"
GG: "Dat dark elf oo wanted ter rob Santa an enslave iz elves? No zoggin chance!"
KO: "What about Serenade of Sorrow then?"
GG: "No EMO's, itz ment ter be fun!"
KO: "Well I give up"
GG: "Well fankz fer yer elp, ere get sum o diz down yer! Cheerz"
KO: "Cheeaaarrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

APPY NEW YEAR FRUM DER GREAT GOBBO, NIGE AN DER REST O DER LADZ! WE IZ UNBEETEN IN 2015!!