It's a lovely sunny day in the swamp, and the biting insects are out in force, as we sit with the Great Gobbo on the old broken cart outside his cave. Nigel the squig is snoring somewhere underneath us as we look back on a year of Blood Bowl with a couple of glasses of clear liquid that has a higher alcoholic percentage than a Scotsman at a free bar.
KO Magazine: "So then Great Gobbo, lets look back at how Der Green Tide have developed over the last year"
Great Gobbo: "Well az yer no, we ad a tuff start"
KO: "They lost their first 41 games"
GG: "I no, but we got betta an a legend emerged frum arr rankz an made a big diffrunce"
KO: "You're referring to the late, great Greeda Stinkbreath"
GG: "Yer, I miss dat lad, ee ad reel kwality. Owever I fink dat rite now we az der strongest Tide teem evva. Masha Bigfist az broken all der gobbo passin rekordz an Rish Earchewwa az kawt moar den furty tuchdurnz"
KO: "You recently had a run of four wins in a row didn't you?"
GG: "Yup! We beet Los malos malotes, a buch o bludsukkerz, [R]adioactive Rumblers, oo were a bunch o kaos nutterz, Quis Custodiet IC sum wussy umiez an Darts after Dark sum necro fingy wierdos. Gud timez"
KO: "Do you have a favourite game?"
GG: "I fink beetin a famus teem like der Dirty Cranberries iz pretty speshul"
KO: "Let's move on to Deff Frum Abuvv, your team that allows Trolls and all the secret weapons"
GG: "Do we av ter?"
KO: "If only to inform our readers that they smashed your arch-rival Zed's team Love Me, Love My Dog in their last game"
GG: "Hehehe, yer, dat woz sweet. Ee woz kryin like a baby at der end sayin I ad artist's luck or summat! I mite av ter get old of a kupla boxez o krikketz an go wotch im play a few gamez"
KO: "He hates it when you turn up and release thousands of crickets all over the place"
GG: "I no!"
KO: "But they havn't been as successful as the Tide, even though they have secret weapons and trolls. Why do you think this is?"
GG: "Dey iz in der Recordpedia Spluttanica tho"
KO: "For the longest run without winning, 125 games!"
GG: "Alrite statto! Anyway I doan't play dis teem ter win, I playz it ter brekk der rekordz fer trollz an secret wepunz"
KO: "Well then in that case you have succeeded"
GG: "A bit, yer. I az ad free grate trollz, Skumble, Grog an Hooch Fizznekka, all frum Honest John's sekund and Troll emporium, a pretty gud pogoer kalled Mr Kleen III but me besterest lad az ter be Uzzy Banned, probably der besterest fanatic der game az evva seen"
KO: "Agreed. I wish you still had your deckchairs, this cart isn't very comfortable. Did you ever find out what happened to Kurnel Kilgore?"
GG: "Sum Norse lads sed ee woz bein used as a ball sumwhere up in Norsica I fink"
KO: "Shame"
GG: "Arr"
KO: "Is Gromstomp Limbrender still around?"
GG: "Honest John's borrowed im ter elp wiv sum 'buzinizz negotiashunz'
KO: "You seem to be a lot more involved with league play recently"
GG: "Yer, it givez me a chance ter try owt sum diffrunt taktiks"
KO: "Like the Green Tide Dark Side?"
GG: "Dem guyz iz mental! Dey az alreddy killed free people just by fowlin dem! I stukk em inter Hubba 2 az it iz der most corrupt leege der iz an so I fort dey kud get away wiv a bit moar fowlin"
KO: "And what about the Emerald Tide"
GG: "I likez dem koz o dere local grog kalled Gwiness, dey iz frum Albion so I entered em inta der White Isle Leeg az I ent payin em ter travel alf way across der world every week. Dey iz sum tuff likkle buggerz but total pisseads"
KO: "And how are the Yoof Sekshun performing? Any talented lads coming through the ranks?"
GG: "Yew bet! We az dis lad kalled Vnaark Deathgivva oo wun der OWCC seesun IX passin title!"
KO: "So you've actually earned one of the trophies that are in your trophy cabinet?"
GG: "Yeh, an Grunda Stinkbreff, Greeda's kousin' iz lookin like ee mite be a decent kacher en all"
KO: "So come on then, tell us about the Whamma Bamma Green Tide and the league you are commissioner of"
GG: "It's kalled der Goblin Invitashunal Tawnament, an iz fer gobbos only. So far we az six teemz but we iz finkin o avvin moar soon"
KO: "Didn't the first season end in controversy?"
GG: "NO! We wun der leeg fair an skware, an Zed ad pointz deducted fer arguing wiv der leeg komishonner"
KO: "You"
GG: "Yup"
KO: "Who also happens to be the manager of the Whamma Bamma Tide"
GG: "Yer, and?"
KO: "The team who would have finished second were in not for the points deduction?"
GG: "So wot? Anyway I iz beaverin away on it at der moment an I opez it bekumz me sekund priority afta der Tide"
KO: "Well good luck Great Gobbo, here's to another year of Blood Bowl glory"
GG: "Cheerz mush"