The Great Gobbo and Frugglrikk Forest are having a meeting in the Great Gobbos cave.

The Great Gobbo: "Rite den, az yew no I az ter bugga off ter der Moot fer a bit wiv dis Big Gob fingy, yew sure yew iz gunna be ok?"
Frugglrikk Forest: "Yeh boss, no worries"
GG: "Gud, koz dis iz der furst time I az entered Deff Frum Abuvv inter a tawnyment so doant bugga it up! Rite, wun last time, wotcha gotta do?"
FF: "I az ter go see Honest John an pikk up der supplys an der bowt fer der jurney. Wunce we iz sailin I follow der instrukshuns on dis invitashun yew nicked frum dat Orcs post box an it shud tek uz ter der Ulfydan Dark Kwalifiers."
GG: "OK den, gud. Look I az ter go so any trubble sort it owt yerself, an mek sure yew bring Nige bak a pressie."
FF: "Will do boss."

The next day bright and early (for gobbos anyway, it's nearly two o'clock in the afternoon) Deff Frum Abuvv assemble at the docks.

FF: "Iz everywun ere? Gud. Now befoar we.......wot der ell iz yew wearin?!!!"

Everyone turns around to look at the back of the group where Denniz Oppa is wearing a pair of neon pink speedos so tight that the term budgie smugglers does a dis-service to an old and noble trade in exotic avian pets and should be called budgie compactors, a pair of shades and a knotted hanky, with bogeys still attached, on his head.

Denniz Oppa: "Yew sed we woz goin on oliday, so I put on me oliday kloves."
FF: "We ent goin on oliday, we iz goin ter play in a tawnyment!"

A collective 'ahh' comes from the group.

FF: "Yew av all packed yer kit?"

There is a general shuffling and looking at feet. Someone drops a yellow bucket with a picture of a seahorse on it.

FF: "Rite bak ome an re-pak, we ent goin on oliday we iz gowin ter play Blud Bowl!"

To be continued.....