I was walking down this poor unkept street. It took twice as long as normal this particular night, as I was booted from a bar for over consumption. This made my route very zig zaggedy, with many bumper car related mishaps, and drag yourself out of the mud detours. As I approached a lonely corner, this fine dressed gentleman asked me for a light. I proceed to turn the flash light on my iPhone. I guess he wasn't impressed as he was hoping for a light of his Cigar. I explained to him that i did not smoke, but given enough time I could use some my cub scout skills, and start a fire out of a couple of sticks. Again he was not impressed at my drunken humour. I swayed.

He tried make some small talk, inquiring about my personal life. I told him that I had a Pink Elephant for an Uncle, a dancing Mongoose for an Aunt, and a lampshade for a Cousin. I mimicked their jitterbug and began laughing hysterically. He eyed me in a mysterious yet awkward way. His eyebrows tighten, and loosened in a rhythmic pattern, and his eyes widened and closed in the beating offset. I leaned away from him in a wincing in confusion. I said to him, in a somewhat surprising and sudden sobriety " Hey, what the Heck are you doing with your face yo?You trying to hypnotize me or sumptin?"

He stopped very suddenly. He straightened vertically, like a Flag pole that needed to urinate. His face turned very aggressive with his eyebrows went into a V. A small lip curl formed in one corner of his mouth. His tooth stuck out through that lip curl. I couldn't help but put all my focus on that tooth. It was morbidly sharp and needed some dental care. I thought about informing him about the growing problems of gingivitis, when he abruptly interrupted my thoughts.

"How did you know I was trying to Hypnotic gaze you, and why is it not working?" He said to me.

I shrugged. I said to he "I dunno, I once sent away for some weird glasses at the back of a comic book. I tried to hypnotize myself in the mirror with them, and it didn't work. So I sold them to some 6 year old at my yard sale for twice of what I paid. Total score for those pieces of junk"

He dropped his jaw, drooped his eyes and stared right into me. Seconds felt like minutes. Minutes would have felt like hours, if he did not continue conversing. "I tried that once" A sad look crossed him face now, "Hypnotizing myself in the mirror, but I could not see myself." His head went towards the ground.

I tilted my head as a confused dog would. " What do you mean yo? Were they glasses Sunglasses?"

"NO you idiot," he huffed at me. "I could not see myself because I am a Vampire."

I hmmmm'ed at him, and said "What like Dracula?"

"Sort of," he replied, "I am Count Luthor von Drakenborg." The greatest Blood Bowl Vampire to ever grace the fields of the Old world."

"What is Blood Bowl?" I asked.

"Its this sport that we play. Kind of like Football, a bit like Rugby, but more like Chess to be honest." H explained.

"Intriguing" I said to him. " How does one play Blood Bowl?"

"Listen" He barked," I was just here to suck the life out of you, not to explain the rules of a complex Fantasy game."

Now I was annoyed, "Suck the life out ME? Man you have the nerve. Here I am walking aimlessly around on an unknown street, and you interrupt it by trying to kill me? Listen here matey, this conversation is now over. Maybe if you were more polite I would have let you suck my blood out, but now you rudeness has ruined the moment!"

He started to say "It not like you have any say in the matter,"

This time I interrupted by putting my open hand up and in his face, "I told you, I No longer want any part in this conversation. You sir can go stuff it. Find another victim, this one is not playing ball. Talk to the hand, cause this face don't understand!"

"Listen" He says to me, " its not like I want to get to know you or anything, I just want to suck all your blood out. Its good for both os us. You no longer have any blood, and I get a full tummy."

"BUT Ill be DEAD," I stated to him.

"Yeah but what are you using you life for anyways eh? You just got kicked out of you fourth bar this week. Its not like Im killing the valedictorian of the vatican, or anything. You are someone that no one will miss."

"How do you know that? I hmmphed at him, " You been stalking me or sumptin?"

"What if I was?" He said. "Maybe I saw you the other day and decided that you looked scrumpsish. You have a good strong jaw line, you're lean and in shape. 9% body fat, you eat a lot of pineapple. All I am saying is that I think your blood would taste good."

"Okay listen here squire." he winced and fluttered his own damn self "I don't like this conversation. I think you've wasted your time and mine. All of this has sobered me up. THAT I don't appreciate. Sod off you creep, besides there is nothing in it for me. I decline this invitation."
I walked away from the guy in the direction I came from. I was much more alights time around as the whole altercation sobered me up. I quickly looked back and the weirdo was nowhere to be found.

Next thing I heard was scream in the distance. I quickened my pace and forced myself into restaurant back door...... To be continued?