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Chainsaw
Last seen 20 weeks ago
Overall
Rookie
Overall
Record
0/0/0
Win Percentage
n/a
Archive

2019

2019-02-26 17:59:58
rating 3.3
2019-02-21 15:32:58
rating 5.6

2018

2018-11-29 23:02:01
rating 5.5

2017

2017-02-08 23:56:40
rating 5.8
2017-02-01 13:18:54
rating 1.8
2017-01-04 00:57:54
rating 4.2
2017-01-01 01:53:20
rating 3.2

2016

2016-12-27 23:05:58
rating 4.8
2016-12-15 23:20:51
rating 5.2
2016-12-08 23:39:28
rating 4.5
2016-11-23 19:36:09
rating 4.4
2016-11-18 22:43:34
rating 5.3
2016-11-08 23:15:35
rating 2.2
2016-10-27 02:00:04
rating 4.5
2016-02-22 11:44:26
rating 4.1
2016-02-08 21:54:52
rating 3.5
2016-02-07 16:37:13
rating 4.3
2016-01-15 13:15:04
rating 5.4
2016-01-12 15:56:00
rating 3
2016-01-07 01:57:43
rating 5.5
2016-01-06 13:07:10
rating 3.3

2015

2015-12-20 02:49:16
rating 4.2
2015-12-16 23:29:23
rating 4.6
2015-01-01 14:00:53
rating 5.5

2014

2014-11-16 00:43:36
rating 2.9
2014-11-14 00:14:39
rating 4.2
2014-11-12 14:29:16
rating 4.1
2014-11-12 09:37:19
rating 3.9
2014-10-29 23:50:22
rating 4.1
2014-10-09 16:50:52
rating 3.2
2014-09-16 19:19:34
rating 2.3
2014-09-12 23:50:12
rating 4.2
2014-09-04 22:58:50
rating 2.9
2014-09-01 09:16:07
rating 3.1
2014-08-18 18:54:36
rating 2.1
2014-08-12 11:04:37
rating 4.7
2014-08-10 23:06:02
rating 2.3
2014-08-04 16:05:26
rating 2.2
2014-07-11 12:21:32
rating 2.2
2014-05-25 04:14:45
rating 2
2014-04-24 12:37:46
rating 3.7
2014-04-18 02:35:09
rating 2.2
2014-04-11 03:18:43
rating 2.2
2014-04-04 12:33:57
rating 4.2
2014-03-18 01:07:52
rating 4.6
2014-03-12 22:39:29
rating 5
2014-03-07 03:22:34
rating 4.6
2014-03-05 04:16:47
rating 1.9
2014-02-19 14:21:10
rating 4
2014-02-07 16:00:28
rating 3.7
2014-01-30 17:11:36
rating 3.5
2014-01-04 19:11:30
rating 3.2

2013

2013-11-16 23:09:58
rating 4.4
2013-11-16 13:51:11
rating 4
2013-10-29 23:37:45
rating 4.7
2013-10-17 17:09:12
rating 5.2
2013-10-16 12:18:28
rating 5.5
2013-10-15 14:12:17
rating 5.8
2013-10-14 13:21:53
rating 5.8
2013-10-14 02:22:13
rating 5.2
2013-10-13 13:16:39
rating 5.8
2013-10-12 13:57:42
rating 5.8
2013-10-11 16:46:43
rating 5.7
2013-10-11 00:08:12
rating 5.6
2013-10-10 08:59:00
rating 5.6
2013-10-06 23:16:04
rating 3.3
2013-10-05 18:27:21
rating 2.8
2013-10-02 03:30:13
rating 3.3
2013-09-27 01:33:10
rating 3.4
2013-08-31 22:26:39
rating 4.8
2013-08-10 13:30:00
rating 2.8
2013-08-03 20:27:22
rating 3.5
2013-07-18 00:53:15
rating 4.3
2013-06-20 18:02:30
rating 3.4
2013-06-19 00:50:04
rating 3.2
2013-06-13 19:07:27
rating 3.7
2013-06-05 18:09:23
rating 3.6
2013-05-29 18:10:49
rating 3
2013-05-24 20:10:57
rating 4
2013-05-19 18:14:51
rating 3.3
2013-05-14 00:32:52
rating 3.1
2013-05-08 19:04:10
rating 3.1
2013-05-03 03:35:01
rating 2.8
2013-04-16 12:24:36
rating 3.5
2013-04-13 02:11:33
rating 3.2
2013-04-10 17:24:50
rating 5.4
2013-03-30 23:25:48
rating 2.4
2013-03-27 18:43:36
rating 4.2
2013-03-25 18:02:09
rating 4.1
2013-03-21 17:32:44
rating 3.8
2013-03-16 20:57:42
rating 4.8
2013-03-16 01:45:54
rating 4.7
2013-03-12 19:01:40
rating 3.9
2013-03-07 19:35:18
rating 4.8
2013-03-06 03:23:13
rating 4.9
2013-03-05 00:24:07
rating 2.8
2013-02-28 16:02:38
rating 4.9
2013-02-20 19:06:14
rating 4.4
2013-02-19 19:45:09
rating 2.2
2013-02-08 23:11:32
rating 3.2
2013-01-24 14:59:06
rating 5.5
2013-01-17 14:38:22
rating 2.8
2013-01-14 16:56:23
rating 4.5
2013-01-10 20:44:26
rating 4.2
2013-01-08 02:57:37
rating 2.8
2013-01-05 20:45:27
rating 4.5

2012

2012-12-24 00:03:01
rating 5.4
2012-12-12 14:48:33
rating 5.1
2012-12-11 10:48:08
rating 5.7
2012-12-10 20:45:15
rating 3.2
2012-12-07 18:36:10
rating 3.1
2012-12-07 13:43:04
rating 2.4
2012-12-04 01:23:14
rating 5.6
2012-11-30 18:54:59
rating 3.3
2012-11-23 15:18:06
rating 3.6
2012-11-21 06:24:24
rating 3.3
2012-11-17 03:30:33
rating 4.1
2012-11-13 08:59:56
rating 2.8
2012-11-12 09:31:26
rating 4.6
2012-11-09 11:48:51
rating 4.3
2012-11-08 22:07:31
rating 5.3
2012-11-07 11:12:00
rating 3.3
2012-10-26 14:43:46
rating 5.2
2012-06-10 22:01:15
rating 3.4
2012-06-06 01:21:42
rating 2.6
2012-06-02 22:19:38
rating 2.3
2012-05-28 02:23:34
rating 4
2012-05-25 02:04:53
rating 4.7
2012-04-25 01:15:04
rating 4
2012-04-19 05:13:24
rating 4.6
2012-04-13 15:04:35
rating 3.4
2012-04-09 14:55:12
rating 4.5
2012-04-04 11:13:43
rating 3.6
2012-04-02 09:39:59
rating 4.9
2012-03-29 03:32:44
rating 4.3
2012-03-22 10:23:31
rating 5.4
2012-03-16 17:36:03
rating 5.5

2008

2008-05-18 00:45:03
rating 3.9
2008-04-10 21:12:20
rating 3.4
2013-06-19 00:50:04
36 votes, rating 3.2
How to handle slow play
A number of players on the site like to use the full 4 minutes. Whilst I always considered the 4 minute mark to be a limit rather than the time to use, I'm not really criticizing them albeit I do feel it is a bit rude especially when a lot of the moves pondered are obvious as hell (2D blocks, for example).

Honestly though, I just can't play against these guys - currently I can't maintain my patience enough to stare at the slow motion pixels. Therefore I go to do other things, but this destroys my focus. I end up making basic mistakes or fail to plan at all what I'm doing, because my mind is on my other activity as it is consuming more time than the game (3-4 minutes to 1 with glances for dialogs). It is a very easy way to beat me - just play really slowly.

How do you deal with this? I mean, you can't demand people be quick. They are who they are. Some of us are instinctive, rapid players. Others like to think things through. Some people's brains work more slowly than others, some people's brains work more thoroughly and logically. So it is to be accepted that some guys will be slow for whatever reason. I am yet to be understand how to remain competitive when playing them.
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Comments
Posted by latulike on 2013-06-19 01:03:57
Yes.
Posted by licker on 2013-06-19 01:09:55
Play more slowly yourself.

Embrace it.
Posted by Jeffro on 2013-06-19 01:12:40
Hmm... how do you deal with your own impatience...? Hmm... a crux if ever there was one.

Mebbe, uh... get over it?!? :D

Take a Valium?

Smoke a joint?

Meditate?

Make up a fluff story for what is taking place on the pitch during the game?

Learn GIMP.

Throw darts.

Work out.

Please work out.
Posted by mister__joshua on 2013-06-19 01:21:16
To echo the above, after Tomay's thread on Fitness through FUMBBL http://www.fumbbl.com/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic&t=23757 I've started trying doing some weights during opponents turns. I can still see the screen, and it's boring so doesn't take much focus from the game. Just passes the time :)
Posted by pythrr on 2013-06-19 01:24:29
foul lots

browse other sites

write emails

knit

foul some more
Posted by JimmyFantastic on 2013-06-19 01:24:52
Yeah play slower yourself is the key. I haven't managed it but I do try to think for at least a second before I start clicking at random!
Posted by JackassRampant on 2013-06-19 01:41:54
What's slow? I block too much, think too much, and have Tourette's and a funky trackpad that makes me clumsy, so fast isn't an option for me. But if I hit 4 min I try to play super fast, and I try not to do it more than twice a game... I think that's what the time limit is for.

One timeout warning or a 30-second notice makes you look gentlemanly and encourages them to hurry up. Much slower than that, the next question is why? If they're just new, it's paying your debt to FUMBBL to teach them how to play and tell them to come back when they're faster. Are they just being jerks? Screenshot and report if you can prove it, blacklist for like 6 months if not. But no matter what, smile. It's a game.
Posted by huff on 2013-06-19 01:46:03
If you don't want them to have to think you should lower your level of play, you may be playing too profiently and not giving the opponent clear and good options. What's jerk you are! Start suckin!
Posted by huff on 2013-06-19 01:48:58
I'm fine with opponents taking all the time they need and I get the same.. Most often it happens when the 'what the hell do I do here' situations arise. When its clear cut options and long turns that makes me wonder.
Posted by uzkulak on 2013-06-19 02:04:42
This blog isnt terribly subtle old chap.

While it is tempting to think the other guy is deliberately playing slowly to gain an advantage, I dont believe anyone can be that clever over the internet.

I just have a drink and chat more often. Turn it into a social eventy rather than a game, its difficult to feel the frustration then.
Posted by harvestmouse on 2013-06-19 02:16:30
Well you play ranked, so you can avoid slow players on the whole right?

One thing I've noticed, is against fast players, I struggle to keep up with what is going on, so this slows my play down and adversely, against slow players, I speed up as I have nearly worked out my turn half way through his.

So..........the slower you play, the quicker your opponent will play.

It would be nice if extremely slow coaches put that they are slow on their bio. I know a lot do this.
Posted by pythrr on 2013-06-19 02:29:48
uzkulak - except smallman, you mean?
Posted by WoodPusher on 2013-06-19 02:33:18
The only thing that bothers me is when people select a player, and then wait for 15-20 seconds before moving him. I don't know why, but I'd much rather they take the 15-20 seconds to think before activating the player. I think it has something to do with me associating the sound of activation with the game progressing.
Posted by Araznaroth on 2013-06-19 02:36:20
Tempted to write; Answer= Pick on nooobs less!
/ooh darn just did!

I'll blame the hot weather, couldn't resist 'ol chap!
(I know all noobs picks you because youz if famous!)
Posted by fly on 2013-06-19 04:37:57
nice blog, i'll add to my bio:
my turns usually are 80 seconds, if you play slower, lend some time from the grey men, then play me.
Posted by keggiemckill on 2013-06-19 05:01:35
I walk away. Then I return and take the time to plan out a play. This results in slow play from myself. With all due respect Chainsaw, stop putting people in the same box you creep out of every night. Just play the game. Everyones mind works differently. Some people have autistic tendencies and need to know each and every odd before attempting an action. Unfortunately we cant all play turns in 2 minutes. Well I can, due to an abundance of GFI fails, but we are all not equal. If you think everyone should be doing and thinking the same as you, you will be disappointed. Just give your competitive brain a rest and relax. 32 extra minutes of Blood Bowl isn't the end of the world there Chainsaw. (4 minutes compared to 2 minutes x 16 turns equal 32.... I figured I needed to explain that.) I suggest you try and have more fun playing the game rather than trying to win each time.

Now, heres a tip for all the slow players. I work out and format my actions during my opponents turn. Therefor when you are completed I usually know what I am going to try and accomplish. It is the difference between slow and quicker play.
Posted by Jackamon on 2013-06-19 07:01:30
Take up smoking and make numerous cups of tea.
Posted by Rat_Salat on 2013-06-19 08:00:35
I'd love to see "Average Turn Time" added to the ranked overlay.
Posted by Roland on 2013-06-19 08:27:13
Thank you!
Now I know how to beat your red dwarf crew :D
Posted by Meltyman on 2013-06-19 08:31:09
How to handle slow play

(3.2) by Chainsaw

3.2 out of 6 handles it with a chainsaw !
Posted by The_Murker on 2013-06-19 08:33:14
Handle it by taking the full 4 mins to type out how lucky your opponent is getting every time he makes an favourable dice roll.
Posted by Narlgoth on 2013-06-19 12:12:18
Have a w*nk? :- )
Posted by Reisender on 2013-06-19 12:16:41
1) dont take games to overtime deliberately :)

2) and i should actually not be the guy suggesting this: the less players your opponents has, the less time he will take, so

kill all mens
Posted by PaddyMick on 2013-06-19 12:59:20
If the problem is losing focus, keep the game onn full screen at all times, and have your distraction for their turn in the form of a newspaper or magazine rather than browsing the web.
Posted by maysrill on 2013-06-19 14:01:01
I have 2 monitors, and FFB doesn't even fill 1. Unless the game is really fast paced, I'm probably multitasking (even in tourney games, sometimes). My turns run about 1 min pretty reliably, with probably 90 seconds being an outlier. Worst for me is getting wiped off the pitch by someone taking >3-min turns. I'm basically playing about 10-15% of the time (since my turns speed up even more when I'm out of rerolls, failing everywhere, with only a few guys on the pitch).
Posted by Chainsaw on 2013-06-19 14:15:45
I have 2 monitors too. It doesn't help much.

@keggie: "Chainsaw, stop putting people in the same box you creep out of every night. Just play the game. Everyones mind works differently."

Dude... I know everyone's mind works differently, but does yours work that differently that you can't actually read my full blog post? I said *exactly* that.
Posted by awambawamb on 2013-06-19 14:24:22
...timeout them like there's no tomorrow.

yarrrr!
Posted by MRnobody on 2013-06-19 14:35:12
Foul all the mens.
With chainsaws!

no mens = no decisions = fast turns
Posted by koadah on 2013-06-19 14:48:40
One of the few cool things about Cyanide was that it once had a 3 minute option. But even that is gone now. :)

The 2 minute option would probably suit some of you guys.
Posted by Kam on 2013-06-19 15:14:27
It really depends on who I'm up against. A few days ago for instance, I had a game that lasted more than 1 hour 1/2, and it didn't bother me, simply because the game was pretty intense and there was a lot of thinking to do on both sides.

Now, when I'm up against someone who takes 30 secs every time he's asked to use Dodge or SS, I may end up losing my focus and doing stupid things as well.

Note to myself: use 4 mins per turn next time I play against Chainsaw.
Posted by Hitonagashi on 2013-06-19 15:48:58
I do other things. Cook, play on the xBox (single player), whatever.

My rule of thumb is that if they are using the 4 minutes on trivial things, I should be able to beat them with 50% concentration, and if they aren't using it on trivial things (more deep strategy), I should probably be using that time to think too...
Posted by mrbibitte3 on 2013-06-19 15:59:56
If they take full 4 minutes of thinking each turn, it's probably because you offer them very difficult "puzzles" to solve. It's all at your honor, you should take this as a compliment.

Once the timer goes beyond 4 minutes, do not hesitate to end their turn. Like fouling, it's written in the rules (and that will stress them a bit, making them do more errors).
Posted by jamesfarrell129 on 2013-06-19 17:00:46
So, another tip on how to beat Chainsaw noted: play slow and watch his mistakes pile up.

As for how to deal with it? Curse, swear, shout at your screen, and figure out the best way to gang-foul their most precious player. Works for me... sometimes.
Posted by finsterface on 2013-06-19 20:24:07
There is a nice little story in Zen-Buddhism...
"A young man came to a zen master to learn about meditation.
The zen master asked,
>>Are you capable of waiting?<<
The young man asked, >>of course, how long?<<
The master said, >>That is enough for me to reject you<<"

...more seriously, though: if you really would like to become more patient (with yourself, that is) - practice Zazen (Zen-meditation, while sitting) - it's good on so many level and it doesn't matter if you're religious or not.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zazen
Posted by Wreckage on 2013-06-20 00:24:50
I usually watch something on youtube or clean or eat or do something else while playing... or i listen to music... or i use the time to make a lot of comments about my oppponents game... or i ask him about the weather...
Posted by the_Sage on 2013-06-20 01:27:24
I tend to alt-tab, then occasionally alt-tab back to sidestep/not apo something.
The longer my oppo takes to play his turn, the longer I stay alt-tabbed.
Posted by the_Sage on 2013-06-20 01:29:27
LOL


Posted by Reisender on 2013-06-19 12:16:41
1) dont take games to overtime deliberately :)
Posted by Badoek on 2013-06-20 13:16:35
I can be slow at times. Usually the complicated games (complicated to me that is) have me breach the 4 minutes a few times. After the second time I do that I really start to get annoyed with myself and speed up because I indeed know I'm wasting someone else's time. Worst thing is: taking 4 minute turns on FUMBBL is probably like taking 6-8 minute turns IRL. :o
Posted by Badoek on 2013-06-20 13:17:51
oh and if my opponent is slow, like really slow, slower than I am, I'll chat about it. I want to play faster, so should others. Because it's more fun when you don't have to wait so long.
Posted by koadah on 2013-06-20 15:44:03
The option to have the clock superimposed on the pitch would help some of slow coaches.

Where it is now I am never going to see it until my turn has ended. ;)
Posted by garyt1 on 2013-06-20 16:05:35
chainsaw, you have conceded your last match despite suffering no cas. Seems like every match is a drama.
Posted by Badoek on 2013-06-20 16:18:35
@Koadah: yeah for me it's the same