2007-10-19 22:11:31
64 votes, rating 3.1
I have been brought up to believe in the God Nuffle and that he would look after my BB teams and grace me with favorable dice rolls and protect my players from harm. So based on my last 30 games I Forsake him and will never utter his name with praise again. To many times has the fickle God killed my players on a 1BD Kapowie or he grants me the blessing of the dreaded 1 reroll 1 dodge. OR the greatest of Nuffles blessings the triple skull. I no longer want or need his blessings.
So I have decided to build an alter to the RNG and praise the idol of the RNG, a 1984 IBM main frame computer, Its holy symbol is a 6 sided die with 6 on 5 sides and a 1 that says "Bad seed, you are doomed". At least the RNG idol tells you when you are F&^%$# so dont expect anything else. The RNG idol does not let you believe that favorable die rolls are coming or you just might get lucky. He has allready rolled the die and told you what is going to happen.
By praising the RNG Idol I hope this will produce the desired blessings from the mainframe. He will allways give me good number seeds and the armor of those more bleesed than me will wilt infront of my blocks. That I can peform a 6 dodge, 2X GFI, pick up the ball, pass the ball, hand off the ball and 1BD blitz-kapowie and run to PayDirt.
I will no longer be Nuffles JOB and continue along my path of suffering.
ALL HAIL THE RNG IDOL!! Bask in its glory, its might, its blessings and most of all, Bless the number seed!